Coaching practices for What Values Matter Most to Me

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For What Values Matter Most to Me, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • If you ask me what I value I’ll say family, health, honesty, growth
  • If someone asked me what I actually care about, I’m not sure I could answer honestly
  • I can’t tell which of my values are truly mine and which I just absorbed from my parents or my culture
  • I say family and health are what matter most to me, but if you looked at my actual calendar this week you’d never guess it
  • I’ve got a short list of values but they’re all just sitting there as equals, and the second two of them collide in real life

Practices that may help

  1. The forced-rank sort
    Write your top 20 candidate values on cards, then sort them ruthlessly until you have a ranked top five.
    Values Card Sort
  2. Values clarification: what matters most to you?
    Identify 3–5 core values — not what you should value, but what actually matters when life is stripped back.
    Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
  3. Use the eulogy / future-self lens
    Imagine how you’d want to be remembered to reveal the values you’d defend most.
    Values Clarification, Made Practical
  4. Audit your time against your values
    Compare where your hours actually go to the values you say you hold.
    Values Clarification, Made Practical
  5. Rank your top values
    Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
    Values Clarification, Made Practical
  6. Map your value hierarchy
    Rank what you most value so you can draw on the strongest affirmation when you need it.
    Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical
  7. Using values questions to deepen a conversation
    Ask "what matters most to you about this?" to surface values rather than surface preferences.
    Values Card Sort
  8. Clarify values and choose them actively
    Name what genuinely matters to you — not what should matter — and make it a live choice today.
    Psychological Flexibility, Made Practical
  9. Write a values declaration as the core of your legacy letter
    Name the two to four values you most want to have lived by — then write why they matter to you.
    The Legacy Letter: Writing What You Want to Leave Behind
  10. Elicit your actual values before looking at your budget
    Write your top five values without looking at your bank statement — then compare the two.
    Values-Based Spending, Made Practical

Related concerns

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