Coaching practices for I Notice I Believe Things Mostly Based on Who Said Them I Wave Through Anything From People I Trust and Dismiss the Rest and I Can't Actually Tell Anymore Whether a Point is Sound or Whether I Just Like the Source
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Notice I Believe Things Mostly Based on Who Said Them I Wave Through Anything From People I Trust and Dismiss the Rest and I Can't Actually Tell Anymore Whether a Point is Sound or Whether I Just Like the Source, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I notice I believe things mostly based on who said them
- I catch myself going along with someone just because they had the title or the confident expert tone, and later realize I never checked whether they actually knew what they were talking about
- My opinions have somehow become who I am, so when someone pushes back it lands like a personal attack and I dig in
- I state every opinion like it’s flat-out fact, and then the other person hears a hard line and braces to defend theirs
- A flimsy study that confirms what I want I’ll wave straight through, but a solid one that contradicts me I’ll pick apart for hours
Practices that may help
- Evaluate the argument structure, not the source
Map the logic and evaluate it independently of who made the argument.
Argument Mapping - Authority
People defer to credible expertise — and to its symbols — more than they realize.
Cialdini’s Principles of Influence - Hold beliefs as estimates, not identity commitments
Treat each belief as a probability rather than a flag to plant.
The Scout Mindset - State your confidence level alongside your position
"I’m about 70% confident on this" signals a reasoned estimate, not a fact claim.
Productive Disagreement, Made Practical - Apply the same evidence standard regardless of whether you like the conclusion
Grade the evidence before you know which conclusion it supports.
Motivated Reasoning - Deliberately seek out sources that disagree with you
For any important belief, find and read the best-regarded opposing view.
Confirmation Bias: Seeing What You Expect to See - Recognize genuine exceptions — when malice is actually likely
Know the signals that legitimately raise the probability of bad intent so you do not apply the razor where it would harm you.
Hanlon's Razor: Never Attribute to Malice What Stupidity Can Explain - Separate the argument from the arguer
Address the claim on its merits, not the person’s motives or character.
Productive Disagreement, Made Practical - Default to assuming you’ve been misunderstood
After any important message, assume it landed differently than you intended — then check.
Closeness-Communication Bias - Probe for evidence behind claims
Ask "what evidence supports that?" before accepting any factual or evaluative claim.
Socratic Questioning
Related concerns
- Argument Quality
When your audience is engaged and able, weak arguments actively backfire — make every point earn its place.
Lead with argument quality on the central route
- Empirical Disputation
Locate the single empirical or value disagreement driving the whole dispute.
Find the crux: the one claim that, if changed, would change the conclusion
- Evaluate Arguments Fairly
Test whether you are holding your team’s arguments to a lower bar than the other side’s.
Apply the double-standard check: would I accept this reasoning if it pointed the other way?
- How To Evaluate Arguments Fairly
Address the claim on its merits, not the person’s motives or character.
Separate the argument from the arguer
- How To Evaluate Claims
Ask "what evidence supports that?" before accepting any factual or evaluative claim.
Probe for evidence behind claims
- Politely Telling Someone A Claim They Shared On Social Media Is False
Address the claim on its merits, not the person’s motives or character.
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