Coaching practices for A Choice I Made Blew Up and I'm Tearing Into Myself but When I'm Honest the Call Was Reasonable with What I Had at the Time and I Can't Tell Anymore Whether I Decided Badly or Just Got an Unlucky Result

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • A choice I made blew up and I’m tearing into myself
  • I made a call that turned out badly and now I feel like an idiot for it
  • I beat myself up over a call that went badly even though it was reasonable with what I knew, and I pat myself on the back for a reckless one that happened to work
  • I beat myself up over a call that went badly even though it was the right move with what I knew, and I let myself off the hook for reckless ones that happened to work out
  • I’m agonizing over this choice like it’s carved in stone and I can never come back from it, paralyzed by a downside that has me frozen

Practices that may help

  1. Evaluate decisions by process, not outcome
    Judge a decision by the quality of the reasoning at the time, not by what happened.
    Hindsight Bias: Why Everything Seems Obvious in Retrospect
  2. Judge decisions by the process, not the result
    A good decision that produces a bad outcome is still a good decision.
    Expected Value Thinking: Deciding Under Uncertainty
  3. Score decision quality separately from outcome quality
    Judge the process you used — not whether it worked — when you review a past decision.
    Decision Journaling: Learning to Decide Better Over Time
  4. Separate the quality of the decision from the outcome
    A good decision can produce a bad outcome, and a bad decision can produce a good outcome — do not confuse them.
    Thinking in Bets
  5. Check reversibility before you fear the downside
    Most decisions are reversible; reserve maximum caution for the few that aren’t.
    The Regret-Minimization Framework
  6. Notice and drop "should" language
    Replace "I should have known better" with "I did what made sense given what I knew."
    Common Humanity, Made Practical
  7. Reduce opportunity-cost thinking
    Stop calculating what every rejected option "costs" you — it amplifies regret for no gain.
    Choice Overload, Made Practical
  8. Treat your decision as more final than it is
    Mentally close off the "undo" option to stop rumination and increase satisfaction.
    Choice Overload, Made Practical
  9. Practice gratitude for what you chose
    Counter maximizer regret by actively appreciating the option you took.
    Satisficing vs. Maximizing: When “Good Enough” Wins
  10. Log the decision before the outcome
    Write what you decided, why, and what you expect — before you know how it turns out.
    Decision Journaling: Learning to Decide Better Over Time

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