Coaching practices for I Keep Swinging Between Drowning in the Raw Grief and Trying to Make Sense of it and I Think I Lean Too Hard on the Sense Making Because Feeling it is Unbearable but the Analyzing Starts to Feel Like a Clever Way to Never Actually Let Myself Cry
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Keep Swinging Between Drowning in the Raw Grief and Trying to Make Sense of it and I Think I Lean Too Hard on the Sense Making Because Feeling it is Unbearable but the Analyzing Starts to Feel Like a Clever Way to Never Actually Let Myself Cry, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I keep swinging between drowning in the raw grief and trying to make sense of it, and I think I lean too hard on the sense-making because feeling it is unbearable
- I keep my head down and stay busy so I never actually feel the loss, and now it ambushes me at random and won’t metabolize
- I’ve been keeping it together by staying busy and not letting myself fall apart, but the grief I keep shoving down isn’t shrinking
- Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go
- I keep trying to decide whether I’m happy or sad about this, like I have to pick one
Practices that may help
- Oscillate between grief and sense-making
Allow periods of pure grief alongside periods of meaning construction — both are necessary.
Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical - Deliberately engage loss-oriented work
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Task 2: Work through the pain of grief
Allow and process the emotional and physical pain of loss rather than bypassing it.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Treating grief as a form of gratitude
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things - Allow mixed and blended feelings
Say "grateful and grieving at once" instead of forcing a single, tidy emotion.
Emotional Granularity: Precision as a Regulation Skill - Mindful awareness of suffering
Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
Self-Compassion, Made Practical - Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Track body sensation (the felt sense)
Follow raw physical sensation with curiosity — tingling, warmth, pressure — rather than the storyline.
Somatic Experiencing, Honestly Explained - Holding joy and sadness simultaneously
When you notice a joyful experience that also carries loss, resist the urge to choose one emotion over the other.
Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things - Use imagery to re-engage with avoided experiences
Revisit a distressing memory in concrete imagery rather than abstract analysis.
Rumination-Focused CBT, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Positive Emotion In Grief
Without minimising the loss, notice any growth, change, or perspective that has emerged from it.
Look honestly for what has grown or changed for the better
- When Emotional Granularity Name Mixed Emotions
Say "grateful and grieving at once" instead of forcing a single, tidy emotion.
Allow mixed and blended feelings
- Cognitive Grief Processing
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
Deliberately engage loss-oriented work
- Emotional Grief Processing
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
- Engaging Grief Directly
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
- Grief And Love Same Emotion
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Treating grief as a form of gratitude
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