Coaching practices for I Dish Out Plenty of Feedback but I've Never Once Asked My Team to Tell Me What I'm Getting Wrong and I Think That's Exactly Why They Don't Trust That Honesty Around Here is Safe I'm Asking Them to Go Into Water I Won't Step Into First
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Dish Out Plenty of Feedback but I've Never Once Asked My Team to Tell Me What I'm Getting Wrong and I Think That's Exactly Why They Don't Trust That Honesty Around Here is Safe I'm Asking Them to Go Into Water I Won't Step Into First, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I dish out plenty of feedback but I’ve never once asked my team to tell me what I’m getting wrong, and I think that’s exactly why they don’t trust that honesty around here is safe
- Everyone around me tells me I’m doing great, and I’ve started to distrust it
- Feedback in my one-on-ones only ever flows one way
- I have to tell someone something hard about their work and I’m dreading it, because every time I do it lands like an attack and they go defensive
- I’ve told my people a hundred times they can disagree with me, but they still don’t
Practices that may help
- Ask for feedback before you give it
Earn the right to challenge by inviting challenge yourself, first.
Radical Candor, Made Practical - Actively seek feedback that could prove you wrong
Ask the people most likely to see your errors — not the people most likely to affirm you.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect, Understood Clearly - Make feedback flow in both directions
Give timely, specific feedback — and ask for it on your own management.
Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical - Give and receive feedback with courage
Sit on the same side of the table: feedback as a shared problem, not an attack.
Daring Greatly, Made Practical - Teach speak-up skills, not just encourage speaking up
Give team members specific language for raising concerns, not just permission to raise them.
Psychological Safety in Teams - Choose the right moment and setting for feedback
Feedback lands in proportion to how safe and ready the receiver feels — timing and privacy matter.
The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical - Respond non-punitively to mistakes
When someone brings you a problem or mistake, make your first move curiosity, not blame.
Psychological Safety in Teams - Model fallibility as the leader
Openly acknowledge your own uncertainty and mistakes before expecting others to do the same.
Psychological Safety in Teams - Establish learner safety — making mistakes without punishment
Make it safe to ask questions, make errors, and admit not knowing — without social penalty.
The Four Stages of Psychological Safety - Establish shared purpose before delivering critique
Frame critique as help toward a shared goal, not an evaluation from above.
The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead
Related concerns
- How Can I Establish Boundaries With A Coworker Who Hijacks Visibility And Offers Unsolicited Critiques
Frame critique as help toward a shared goal, not an evaluation from above.
Establish shared purpose before delivering critique
- Admit Mistakes Leadership
A fast, clean acknowledgment of error lands better than a slow, elaborate defense.
Own mistakes promptly and without over-explanation
- Ask For Honest Feedback
Earn the right to challenge by inviting challenge yourself, first.
Ask for feedback before you give it
- Building A Feedback Culture
Give timely, specific feedback — and ask for it on your own management.
Make feedback flow in both directions
- Building Trust Before Feedback
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
Extend trust deliberately to invite it
- Contributor Safety
Create conditions where team members volunteer ideas, analysis, and solutions without waiting to be asked.
Build contributor safety — people offer ideas without fear of rejection
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