Coaching practices for I Keep Treating One Piece of This as a Given the Material the Person Who Does it the Rule it Runs on and I Think That One Fixed Assumption is the Thing Quietly Boxing Me in

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I keep treating one piece of this as a given
  • I’m walking into this dead certain it’s one fixed pie
  • I’ve been treating some rule about how this has to be done as if it were a law of physics, and it just dawned on me that nobody actually decreed it
  • I keep reinventing the container
  • I keep telling myself "it has to be this way" and "that’s just not an option," and I’ve never once stopped to write down those rules and ask whether the problem actually imposed them or whether I just assumed them.

Practices that may help

  1. Substitute
    Ask: what component, material, person, process, or rule could be swapped for something different?
    SCAMPER: A Systematic Creativity Technique
  2. Negotiate from abundance, not scarcity
    Question the assumption that what one side gains the other must lose.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  3. Identify the constraint you invented: ask "who said it had to be this way?"
    Name one element of your creative work you have never questioned and spend 20 minutes treating it as optional.
    The Beginner’s Mind in Creative Practice
  4. Adopt a self-imposed rule or form
    Commit to a fixed form (a format, a recurring rule) and let it shape the work over time.
    Why Constraints Boost Creativity
  5. Make your constraints explicit before solving
    Write out every assumption and rule you are treating as fixed — most problem-solvers carry invisible constraints they never surface.
    Constraint Relaxation: Escaping the Walls You Built Yourself
  6. Break apart perceptual chunks that may be blocking you
    If a problem object looks like one thing, try perceiving it as separate parts with separate functions.
    Constraint Relaxation: Escaping the Walls You Built Yourself
  7. Separate facts from assumptions explicitly
    Sort what you actually know from what you’re assuming, in two visible columns.
    First-Principles Thinking, Made Usable
  8. Practice equity: bend general rules to particular cases
    Apply rules with awareness that no rule perfectly fits every situation; the wise person corrects for the fit.
    Phronesis: Aristotle’s Practical Wisdom
  9. Reject the fixed-pie assumption
    Stop assuming your gain must be their loss — most negotiations have hidden joint gains.
    Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie
  10. Challenge: systematically question why things are done the way they are
    Ask "Why must this be this way?" for each element of the problem — not to be contrarian, but to find which constraints are real.
    Lateral Thinking, Made Practical

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