Coaching practices for Who Am I After Loss

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Who Am I After Loss, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • So much of who I was lived in being their wife, their caregiver, the one they called
  • They handled the money, or the cooking, or were just the person I leaned on
  • Nobody in my life gets this kind of loss, and I’m starting to ache for even one person who’s been through the exact same thing and wouldn’t need me to explain why it matters.
  • Since they died, the whole ground I stood on is gone
  • It’s been long enough that I can quietly admit something in me has shifted since they died

Practices that may help

  1. Reconstruct your identity post-loss
    Actively develop the new self that emerges when a core relationship or role is gone.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  2. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
    Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  3. Find a community that recognises your specific loss
    Seek out people who have experienced the same type of loss — online or in person.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  4. Map the assumptive world the loss disrupted
    Identify which of your core beliefs about life, self, and the future the loss has challenged.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  5. Look honestly for what has grown or changed for the better
    Without minimising the loss, notice any growth, change, or perspective that has emerged from it.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  6. Articulate the person’s life imprint on you
    Describe specifically how the person changed who you are — and carry that forward explicitly.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  7. Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life
    Identify values, projects, or commitments the person cared about and carry them forward yourself.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  8. Reframing loss as transformation
    When something ends or is lost, practise asking what it is becoming rather than only mourning what it was.
    Zhuangzi and the Practice of Perspective Shift
  9. Construct a coherent narrative of the loss
    Tell the full story of the loss — who the person was, what happened, and what life is now.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  10. Treating grief as a form of gratitude
    When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
    Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things

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