Coaching practices for Who You Want to Become
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Who You Want to Become, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- The future I want for myself feels so out of reach that part of me has filed it under "people like me don’t get there"
- I’ve got this clear, vivid picture of the person I want to become, and I love daydreaming about them
- I say I want to "be healthier" or "be successful," but it’s all so vague it doesn’t pull me anywhere
- I’m still grinding toward a version of "successful me" I dreamed up years ago, and it’s stopped lighting me up
- I keep chasing the number
Practices that may help
- Find living examples of your hoped-for self
Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Build a behavioral bridge to the possible self
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Elaborate your hoped-for possible self
Build a detailed, sensory-rich mental picture of a concrete future version of yourself — not an abstract goal, but a person.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Update and revise possible selves over time
Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Identity-based habits
“Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”
Atomic Habits, Made Practical - Mapping your ideal self explicitly
Articulate specifically who your ideal self is — the person you are working toward — so your partner can sculpt toward it rather than guessing.
The Michelangelo Phenomenon: How Partners Sculpt Each Other - Journal as the person you are becoming, not the person you have been
Writing from your desired identity’s perspective, even tentatively, strengthens its psychological availability.
Identity Priming, Made Practical - Pair the hoped-for self with a feared counterpart
Identify the feared version of your future self in the same domain — the pairing produces more sustained motivation than hope alone.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Prime identity before the ask — "what kind of person are you?"
Invite the person to describe who they are in terms that align with the behavior you’re requesting.
Pre-Suasion, Made Practical - Developing genuine curiosity about your partner’s ideal self
Invest in knowing who your partner wants to become — not who they were or who you want them to be.
The Michelangelo Phenomenon: How Partners Sculpt Each Other
Related concerns
- Become The Person You Want To Be
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
Build a behavioral bridge to the possible self
- Possible Selves With My Partner
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
- Ideal Self Mapping
Articulate specifically who your ideal self is — the person you are working toward — so your partner can sculpt toward it rather than guessing.
Mapping your ideal self explicitly
- Ideal Self Vs Actual Self
Distinguish between aspirational standards that stretch you and perfectionist standards that only punish you.
Recalibrate ideal-self standards when they are unreachably high
- Possible Selves Pairing
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
- When Possible Selves Pair Hoped For With Feared Self
Identify the feared version of your future self in the same domain — the pairing produces more sustained motivation than hope alone.
Pair the hoped-for self with a feared counterpart
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.