Steel-man before you rebut

Restate the opposing view in its strongest form before you argue against it.

Why it works

When you articulate the best version of the opposing argument, you force yourself to actually understand it rather than respond to a weakened caricature. This lowers defensiveness in the other person (they feel genuinely heard) and often reveals the real crux of the disagreement, making the conversation more efficient and less hostile.

How to do it

1. Before replying, paraphrase the other person’s argument in its most reasonable form.
2. Ask them: "Is this a fair summary of your view?" and adjust until they agree.
3. Only then raise your counter-argument — against the strengthened version, not a straw man.

Evidence

Steel-manning is a normative epistemic practice recommended by logicians and rationalists; its underlying mechanism — feeling understood reduces defensiveness — is consistent with perspective-taking and reflective-listening research in communication. (mechanistic)

Direct RCT evidence for steel-manning as a discrete technique is lacking; the recommendation rests on reasoning about argument quality and on broader perspective-taking literature.

Common mistake

Using steel-manning as a rhetorical move ("I’ll grant you the strongest version so I look magnanimous, then demolish it") rather than genuinely updating when the steel-manned argument reveals a real weakness in your own position.