Powerful open questions at every stage

Ask questions that invite thinking, not ones that suggest answers — and ask more than you tell.

Why it works

Questions that presuppose an answer ("Surely you could just talk to them?") tell the coachee what to think; genuinely open questions create space for the coachee to think. The ratio of questions to statements is a rough quality indicator: effective coaching leans heavily toward questions, because the coachee’s own reasoning is what builds genuine insight and commitment.

How to do it

1. Prefer "what" and "how" questions over "why" (which can feel accusatory) and "do you" (closed).
2. Ask one question at a time — multiple questions in one turn pressure the person to pick the easiest.
3. Allow silence after a question; resist filling it. The thinking IS the work.
4. Regularly ask: "What is the most important thing here?" to cut through complexity.

Evidence

Autonomy-supportive questioning — where the coach elicits rather than directs — is consistent with self-determination theory predictions about intrinsic motivation. The specific "more questions than statements" ratio is practitioner consensus. (mechanistic)

The power of open questions is theoretically grounded but the specific ratio of questions to statements has not been experimentally optimized.

Common mistake

Asking "Have you thought about just being more assertive?" — a question in grammatical form that is actually a suggestion, which closes rather than opens the thinking.