Arthur Aron Self-Expansion Model: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Arthur Aron Self-Expansion Model, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

About 2 minutes

Try it here: list new things to try together

Novel, challenging activities with someone close to you can renew the closeness. List a few you could try, then pick one.

Write new things you could try together.

Or do it with Io instead.

Practices that may help

  1. Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
    Arthur Aron’s self-expansion model proposes that people are motivated to grow — to expand their sense of self by incorporating new perspectives, skills, and resources — and that relationships are so motivating early on because they represent rapid self-expansion. The well-studied practical implication is that doing novel, challenging activities with a partner or close friend restores the expansion experience and revitalises closeness. The model has a substantial empirical base, primarily in romantic relationships.
  2. Apply the self-expansion framework to individual growth, not only relationships
    The same motivation that drives relational closeness also drives individual meaning — seeking growth for its own sake.
    Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
  3. Practise including the other person in your self-concept
    Close relationships develop when you genuinely incorporate the other’s perspectives and resources into how you think — not just spend time with them.
    Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
  4. Pursue personal growth that you share — not parallel but joint
    Growing alongside a partner or friend, rather than separately, leverages the self-expansion mechanism for both people simultaneously.
    Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
  5. Broaden-and-Build, Made Practical
    Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory proposes that positive emotions — joy, curiosity, love, gratitude, awe — temporarily broaden thought-action repertoires (making thinking more flexible and creative) and, over time, build durable psychological resources including resilience, social connection, and cognitive flexibility. The theory is supported by experimental evidence for the broadening effect; the longer-term building effects are primarily observational.
  6. Expand the Unknown quadrant through challenge and experience
    Try things outside your current self-concept — undiscovered capacity lives in the Unknown quadrant.
    The Johari Window
  7. Seek out awe as a broadening and self-transcending emotion
    Awe expands perceived time, reduces self-focused thought, and increases prosocial behavior — and it can be deliberately accessed.
    Broaden-and-Build, Made Practical
  8. Use awe to reconnect with something larger than yourself
    When awe makes the self feel small, follow the natural impulse toward belonging — toward community, nature, or humanity at large.
    Awe and Well-Being, Made Practical
  9. Use structured escalating self-disclosure to accelerate closeness
    Closeness can be deliberately generated through mutual, gradually deepening disclosure — not just through time.
    Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
  10. Using openness to calibrate your learning approach
    High openness means you need variety and novelty to stay engaged; low openness means deep, bounded practice outperforms breadth.
    The Big Five Personality Model

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