Coaching practices for Asking for Upward Feedback

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Asking for Upward Feedback, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Feedback in my one-on-ones only ever flows one way
• I tell someone what went wrong but never say what I actually want instead, so they walk away knowing they messed up with no idea what "right" looks like
• Whenever I ask how I’m doing, the answer comes back as a verdict on what I already screwed up, and I spend the whole conversation defending myself instead of actually learning anything I could use next time.
• I deliver my feedback as a finished verdict and then the other person just sits there closed off
• All the feedback I get is about whether I hit the target, and none of it touches the assumptions underneath how I’m even seeing the situation

Practices that may help

1. Make feedback flow in both directions
   Give timely, specific feedback — and ask for it on your own management.
   Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical
2. Add a forward-looking request to SBI
   Pair the impact statement with a specific, doable request for next time.
   The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical
3. Ask for ideas about the future, not assessments of the past
   Replace "how did I do?" with "what ideas do you have for how I could do better?"
   Feedforward: Future-Focused Feedback That Actually Changes Behavior
4. Invite a response after delivering SBI
   Close SBI by asking what the other person makes of it — not with a verdict.
   The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical
5. Seek developmental feedback, not just performance feedback
   Ask for feedback that challenges your assumptions about how you see, not just how you perform.
   Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory, Made Practical
6. Establish shared purpose before delivering critique
   Frame critique as help toward a shared goal, not an evaluation from above.
   The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead
7. Receive feedback with minimal defensiveness
   Treat feedback as data about others’ experience — not as a verdict on your character.
   The Johari Window
8. Receive every suggestion with only "thank you"
   Accept all feedforward without debate, justification, or even agreement — just acknowledge and note.
   Feedforward: Future-Focused Feedback That Actually Changes Behavior
9. Ask what the person already knows before offering your assessment
   Ask the person to evaluate their own performance before giving yours.
   The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead
10. Actively seek feedback on your blind spots
    Ask specifically for what others see that you might not — with enough specificity to get honest answers.
    The Johari Window

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