Coaching practices for Compassion Focused Therapy Breathing

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Compassion Focused Therapy Breathing, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • Every time I try to be gentle with myself my body’s still wound tight and braced, and the calming part just won’t take
  • I’ve been fighting and trying to push away my own pain and it only tightens its grip
  • My whole instinct is to push pain away and grab at anything that feels good, and I’m tired of how walled-off that makes me
  • When everything’s falling apart I have nobody in my head to turn to
  • Someone I love is suffering and there is nothing I can actually do to fix it, and that helplessness is unbearable

Practices that may help

  1. Soothing Rhythm Breathing
    Use slow, rhythmic breathing to deliberately activate the physiological soothing system before other compassion practices.
    Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic
  2. Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic
    Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, targets shame and self-criticism by training a compassionate inner voice to replace the punitive self-critic. It draws on evolutionary psychology and affective neuroscience — specifically, the finding that different emotional systems (threat, drive, soothing) have distinct neurobiological profiles. A growing body of RCT evidence supports CFT for shame-based difficulties, self-criticism, and depression, though the evidence base is smaller than for CBT.
  3. Practice tonglen for your own suffering first
    Use your own current pain as the object before extending the practice to others.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
  4. Tonglen: sending and taking
    Breathe in suffering (yours and others’); breathe out relief and well-being.
    Lojong: Tibetan Mind Training
  5. Compassionate Imagery: The Compassionate Image and Safe Place
    Develop a vivid compassionate figure in imagination whose care you can access during distress.
    Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic
  6. Direct tonglen toward a specific suffering person
    Bring a person who is suffering to mind and breathe in their pain; breathe out whatever would give them relief.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
  7. Paced breathing: make the exhale longer than the inhale
    Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 6–8 — the extended exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system.
    TIPP: DBT’s Crisis Skill for Rapidly Lowering Emotional Intensity
  8. Use controlled breathing to manage arousal during exposure
    A brief, slow-breathing technique modulates arousal during difficult exposure moments.
    Prolonged Exposure Therapy: Principles, Practices, and the Evidence
  9. Work with the classical two-breath texture
    Breathe in something hot, dark, and heavy; breathe out something cool, bright, and spacious.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
  10. Prepare for tonglen with a brief equanimity grounding
    Entering tonglen from a grounded, spacious state makes the practice sustainable rather than destabilising.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending

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