Coaching practices for Descriptive Commenting Children

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Descriptive Commenting Children, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I praise my kid constantly
  • I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong
  • I tell my kid "good job" all day and it doesn’t seem to change anything
  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are
  • I praise my kid constantly

Practices that may help

  1. Sportscast what you see rather than directing
    Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  2. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Use descriptive praise instead of generic approval
    Tell the child exactly what they did right so they know what to repeat.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  4. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  5. Encourage specific contributions and efforts
    "You set the table without being asked — that helped the whole family" is more powerful than "Good job."
    Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
  6. Help the child label the emotion with words
    Naming the feeling turns a body sensation into something the child can think about.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
  7. Encourage the effort and the process, not the outcome
    Encouragement builds inner confidence; outcome-praise creates dependency on adult evaluation.
    Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
  8. Build mindsight by reflecting inner experience
    Describe your own inner experience in everyday conversation to build the child’s "mind-seeing" capacity.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  9. Listen empathically and validate the feeling
    Reflect the emotion you see accurately before you do anything else.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
  10. Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
    Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)

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