Emotionally Focused Therapy Case Example: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices

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Practices that may help

  1. Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
    Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Sue Johnson, is a couples intervention grounded in attachment theory: it treats distress in close relationships as an attachment injury, and focuses on creating new emotional experiences that rebuild the sense of safe, reliable connection. EFT has one of the stronger evidence bases in couples therapy, with multiple randomized controlled trials showing sustained improvement -- though findings are not uniformly positive and many studies are small.
  2. Create corrective emotional experiences together
    The goal is not to understand the pattern intellectually -- it is to have a new emotional experience of safety within it.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  3. Access and name the underlying attachment emotion
    Beneath the surface argument is a primary emotion -- usually fear, longing, or grief -- that drives the cycle.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  4. Identify and name your negative cycle
    Every stuck couple has a predictable escalation pattern -- naming it lets you step outside it.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  5. Repair an attachment injury
    Specific relationship betrayals -- moments when you were not there -- need a specific repair, not just time.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  6. Practice being a secure base for your partner
    A secure base means: be accessible, responsive, and emotionally engaged -- especially when it is hard.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  7. Have a Hold Me Tight conversation
    Sue Johnson's structured conversation for reaching past defensiveness to the attachment need underneath.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  8. Compassionate Imagery: The Compassionate Image and Safe Place
    Develop a vivid compassionate figure in imagination whose care you can access during distress.
    Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic
  9. Cognitive and Somatic Interweaves
    When processing stalls, a brief therapist-supplied statement or question can restart the chain.
    EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
  10. Identifying and Targeting the Trauma Memory
    Pinpoint the specific memory, its worst moment (the "touchstone"), and the negative belief it installed.
    EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

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