Coaching practices for How Do I Deal with My Child's Anxiety

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Do I Deal with My Child's Anxiety, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
  • When my kid is melting down I feel trapped between two bad options
  • My child can tell me they’re upset but then has no idea what to actually do about it
  • I keep asking the people around me "are you sure it’s fine?" over and over
  • The storm has finally passed and my kid is calm again, and I keep wanting to either just move on or fix the situation for them

Practices that may help

  1. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  2. Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate
    Name the child’s emotional state without agreeing with every demand — empathy and limits can coexist.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  3. Build each child’s personalized regulation toolbox
    Each child needs their own set of tools matched to each zone.
    Zones of Regulation (Leah Kuypers)
  4. Fade reassurance-seeking
    Gradually reduce how often you seek reassurance from others that the feared thing won't happen.
    Safety Behavior Fading, Made Practical
  5. Problem-solve together once the child is calm
    After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
  6. Listen empathically and validate the feeling
    Reflect the emotion you see accurately before you do anything else.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
  7. Run toward the feeling
    Actively invite more of the anxiety rather than waiting nervously for it to pass.
    The DARE Response to Anxiety, Made Practical
  8. Allow the sensations without resisting
    Let the physical feelings of anxiety be present instead of bracing against them.
    The DARE Response to Anxiety, Made Practical
  9. Balanced, compassionate self-talk
    Talk to yourself as you would to a friend — accurate and kind, not harsh or falsely cheery.
    The Anxiety Toolkit, Made Practical
  10. Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
    Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)

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