Coaching practices for How to Prepare 11 Month Old for Birth of Sibling

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I keep meaning to spend real one-on-one time with my kid but it gets squeezed out by everything else, and I think the unpredictability is part of why they keep grabbing at me
  • There are a few situations that go badly every single time
  • My child reacts to everything on pure impulse and never seems to stop and think how the other kid feels, and I want to actually build that thinking-and-considering muscle during our good calm moments, not just keep firefighting once they’ve already lost it.
  • My kid is full of wild physical energy and I tend to shut down the wrestling and chasing because I’m afraid it’ll spin out of control
  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are

Practices that may help

  1. Schedule and protect special time as a non-negotiable
    Put it in the calendar, name it, and keep the appointment.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  2. Plan behavior management strategies in advance
    Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  3. Engage the upstairs brain through curiosity and play
    Ask questions that require the child to think, imagine, or consider another perspective.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  4. Engage in safe rough-and-tumble play
    Wrestling, chasing, and physical silliness build the regulation capacity that calm activities cannot.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  5. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  6. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  7. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
    Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  8. Use special time to fill the connection cup before problems escalate
    A proactive ten-minute connection recharge can prevent an afternoon of battles.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  9. Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
    Special time is a structured daily or near-daily practice of ten to twenty minutes of fully child-directed, uninterrupted one-on-one play, drawn from Lawrence Cohen's Playful Parenting framework. It fills the child’s attachment "cup," reduces bids for attention through misbehavior, and builds the relationship reserve that makes limits and teaching more effective. Clinical and observational evidence consistently supports child-directed play as a relationship and behavior intervention.
  10. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)

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