Coaching for the challenges people actually bring (page 193)

Extinguish unwanted behaviors by removing their reinforcement · Use differential reinforcement to increase desired behavior while reducing unwanted behavior · Selective attention to individual sounds + 7 more

Extinguish unwanted behaviors by removing their reinforcement · Use differential reinforcement to increase desired behavior while reducing unwanted behavior · Refuse to energize negative behavior + 7 more

Extinguish unwanted behaviors by removing their reinforcement · Use a brief reset rather than escalating consequences · Use controlled breathing to manage arousal during exposure + 7 more

Direct unexpected income entirely to the targeted debt · Guard against the "one more purchase" exception · Automate the extra payment on the target debt the day after payday + 7 more

Expand your role through extra-role behavior · Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical · Reciprocate when your leader invests in you + 7 more

Use extra-virgin olive oil as your primary cooking fat · Use extra-virgin olive oil as your primary fat · The Mediterranean Diet for Mood and Wellbeing + 7 more

Use extra-virgin olive oil as your primary fat · Use extra-virgin olive oil as your primary cooking fat · Use herbs and spices liberally as low-calorie polyphenol sources + 7 more

Build a personal library of failure post-mortems · Steelman the strategy opposite to the successful one · Run a structured mastery debrief after each performance + 7 more

Test your updated model in new situations · Extract a generalizable principle from what you observed · Adjacent-domain transfer testing + 7 more

Extract a transferable principle, not just a description · Plan a concrete experiment to test your new principle · Debrief each session with a structured reflection + 7 more

Strip extraneous cognitive load from learning materials · Cognitive Load Theory: Learning Within Working Memory Limits · Remove information that can be inferred once the concept is known + 7 more

Energy management from your extraversion score · Build emotional energy rituals to buffer against daily depletion · Energy Management, Not Time Management + 7 more

Extreme Ownership, Made Practical · Set an ambitious, defensible anchor · Counter-anchor before you respond + 7 more

Recognize decoys in political and narrative framing · Build a library of cases and reason from them · Weigh disconfirming evidence more heavily than confirming evidence + 7 more

Recognize decoys in political and narrative framing · Apply the double-standard check: would I accept this reasoning if it pointed the other way? · Find the strongest version of the opposing view + 7 more

Use a stepping-stone idea: an intermediate impossible idea · Break associative barriers through randomness · Introduce a random constraint when stuck + 7 more

Extreme Ownership, Made Practical · Take extreme ownership of outcomes — even ones that aren’t your fault · Discipline Equals Freedom: Jocko Willink's Framework + 7 more

Extreme Ownership, Made Practical · Cover and move (teamwork over silos) · Take extreme ownership + 7 more

Extreme Ownership, Made Practical · Decentralized command · Take extreme ownership + 7 more

Stress test plans against outcomes beyond the historical range · Run a pre-mortem from the outside-view perspective · Map best case, worst case, and most likely case + 7 more

Eyes-open intimacy: contact without merger · The erotic gaze: seeing your partner freshly · Lead with your eyes — use the face as a regulator + 7 more

Eyes-open intimacy: contact without merger · Lead with your eyes — use the face as a regulator · The erotic gaze: seeing your partner freshly + 7 more

Practice soft, warm eye contact · Lead with your eyes — use the face as a regulator · Map your personal safety and threat cues + 7 more

Eyes-open intimacy: contact without merger · Mouth taping during sleep · Lead with your eyes — use the face as a regulator + 7 more

Practicing with eyes open and lowered · Use external anchors instead of closed-eye inward attention · Jyoti dharana — holding the inner light + 7 more

Face havening · Self-Havening: Calming the Nervous System Through Touch · The forehead coolness phrase ("My forehead is pleasantly cool") + 7 more

Ice pack or cold pack applied to the face · Cold-water face immersion (full dive reflex activation) · Cold and intense sensory grounding + 7 more

Ice pack or cold pack applied to the face · The Dive Reflex, Made Practical · Cold-water face immersion (full dive reflex activation) + 7 more

Interoceptive exposure: deliberately induce the feared sensations · Build a personal sensation hierarchy · Use the dive reflex as a first-response to panic + 7 more

Accompany your final offer with a small non-monetary concession · Evaluate offers on their content, not on the timing of when they arrived · Use the door-in-the-face structure in salary and price negotiations + 7 more

Build a personal discomfort gradient · Build a fear hierarchy · Graded exposure + 7 more

Build a fear hierarchy · Graded exposure · Build a personal discomfort gradient + 7 more

Show up — turn toward difficult emotions · RAIN — Allow the experience to be here · Give yourself permission to feel + 7 more

Face havening · Five-senses self-soothe · Use soothing touch as a physiological anchor + 7 more

Hum, tone, or chant to activate the social engagement system · Practice soft, warm eye contact · Vagal Tone, Honestly Explained + 7 more

Include a trusted other in high-stakes AARs · Debrief after each stressful encounter · Share in a small group sharing circle on the same day + 7 more

Brainwrite instead of group brainstorm · Use brainwriting to defeat production blocking · Harvest and cluster ideas after the session + 7 more

Confront avoidance with compassionate courage · Cultivate Self through directed inner compassion · Practice self-compassion as an active procrastination buffer + 7 more

Confront the brutal facts — regularly and specifically · Practice realistic optimism · The practice of living consciously + 7 more

Separate facts from assumptions explicitly · Surface and examine the assumptions you are making · Name the assumptions that must hold for the plan to work + 7 more

Own mistakes promptly and without over-explanation · Frame losses that grow over time as compounding · Distinguish functional from dysfunctional procrastination + 7 more

Train your faculty of assent · The discipline of action · The Inner Citadel + 7 more

Use escalating rewards to maintain motivation across time · Protect your rewards from overexposure · Fade the proxy as the habit takes hold + 7 more

Scaffolding and deliberate fading · Scaffolding: The Art of Temporary Learning Support · Remove information that can be inferred once the concept is known + 7 more

Scaffolding and deliberate fading · Systematically fade the scaffold as competence grows · Fade gradually from full examples toward independent problem-solving + 7 more

Create psychological safety around missing a stretch target · Stretch Goals: When Ambitious Targets Help and When They Backfire · Assess capability and resource margin before setting a stretch target + 7 more

Share tasks equitably — and feel equitable about it · Compromising (moderate on both) · Negotiate roles and responsibilities explicitly + 7 more

Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others · Replace critic monologue with compassionate self-talk · Apply the razor to yourself + 7 more

Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others · Make justice the criterion for action in relationships · Ground ethics in love and compassion, not rule compliance + 7 more

Continuing ordinary duty and practice without consolation · Build a culture of genuine appreciation as a horsemen antidote · Actively maintain the belief in ultimate prevailing + 7 more

Audit your I-statements for disguised you-statements · I-Statements: How to Express Yourself Without Triggering Defensiveness · Name the imposter pattern + 7 more

Single-leg stance practice · Run exposures without safety behaviors · Safety Behavior Fading, Made Practical + 7 more

Check for false analogies: does the structural mapping actually hold? · Map the relational structure, not the surface features · Use multiple analogies for the same problem + 7 more

Get genuine commitment, not false consensus · Use structured team forecasting to aggregate diverse views · Invite an adversarial collaborator + 7 more

Treat setbacks as information, not identity · Pair belief change with concrete strategy · Growth Mindset: The Honest Version + 7 more

Beware false precision in forecasts and models · Forecast a distribution, not a point estimate · Treat forecasting accuracy as a skill that improves with practice + 7 more

Falsification Thinking · Specify what would falsify your belief before you look at evidence · Make your beliefs precise enough to be wrong + 7 more

Make bold predictions — then check them · Write the hypothesis before you act · Make your beliefs precise enough to be wrong + 7 more

Falsification Thinking · Specify what would falsify your belief before you look at evidence · Make your beliefs precise enough to be wrong + 7 more

Package unfamiliar content in familiar formats · Match study format to content type, not to self-concept · Express work in reusable intermediate packets + 7 more

Place pegged items along a memory palace route · Choose a familiar, highly vivid mental route · The Method of Loci: How to Build a Memory Palace + 7 more

The Mere Exposure Effect, Made Practical · Liking · Show up consistently to build familiarity and trust over time + 7 more

Liking · Show up consistently to build familiarity and trust over time · The Mere Exposure Effect, Made Practical + 7 more

Retrieval-based JOL · Recall before recognition · Source monitoring + 7 more

Seek analogies from maximally distant domains · Import a frame from a different domain · Use forced analogy to generate unexpected solutions + 7 more

Farmer carries for functional grip and total-body strength · Add load to walks (rucking) for strength and caloric benefit · Walk briskly rather than just accumulating steps + 7 more

Simple Heuristics: Gerd Gigerenzer’s Case for Fast and Frugal Thinking · Slow down for high-stakes, irreversible decisions · Define "essential" before the fast begins + 7 more

Activating (energizing) breath · Rapid diaphragmatic breathing (breath of fire) · Cyclic hyperventilation (with strong caution) + 7 more

Run the four-question AAR within 24 hours of any significant event · Give feedback in the moment, not stockpiled for reviews · Use minimal encouragers + 7 more

Release-only relaxation: drop the tension phase · The release-only shortcut · The Relaxation Response, Made Practical + 7 more

Apologies: stop apologizing for existing, wanting, or having limits · Time it for them, not for your relief · Take responsibility without the “but” + 7 more

Retention: build in spacing so it lasts · FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships · Interleave practice across different skill types within a single session + 7 more

Fluency monitoring with speed metrics · Rapid classification trials · Build calibration reps with low-stakes trivia and almanac questions + 7 more

Thinking, Fast and Slow, Made Usable · Slow down for high-stakes, irreversible decisions · Notice which system is driving + 7 more

Zone 2 Training · Pair zone 2 with occasional high-intensity work in an 80/20 polarized structure · Use zone 2 to train fat oxidation as a metabolic skill + 7 more

The Physiological Sigh, Made Practical · The physiological sigh — a single breath to rapidly reduce stress · Physical self-soothing + 7 more

Know when not to fast · Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · Strategic refeeding after the FMD cycle + 7 more

Break the fast with a protein-first, low-glycemic first meal · Know when not to fast · Measure how you feel, not just the scale + 7 more

Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · Know when not to fast · Manage caffeine timing within your eating window + 7 more

Stay hydrated and salted during the fast · Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · Know when not to fast + 7 more

Fasting-Mimicking Diet: Triggering Cellular Renewal Without Full Fasting · The longevity diet between FMD cycles · Strategic refeeding after the FMD cycle + 7 more

Deliberate fasting as a discomfort practice · Know when not to fast · Strategic refeeding after the FMD cycle + 7 more

Stay hydrated and salted during the fast · Know when not to fast · Break the fast with a protein-first, low-glycemic first meal + 7 more

Take a movement break after each meal · Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · Break the fast with a protein-first, low-glycemic first meal + 7 more

Fasting-Mimicking Diet: Triggering Cellular Renewal Without Full Fasting · The 5-day FMD cycle: structure and caloric targets · How often to run FMD cycles and when not to + 7 more

Fasting-Mimicking Diet: Triggering Cellular Renewal Without Full Fasting · Strategic refeeding after the FMD cycle · The 5-day FMD cycle: structure and caloric targets + 7 more

Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · Fasting-Mimicking Diet: Triggering Cellular Renewal Without Full Fasting · The 5-day FMD cycle: structure and caloric targets + 7 more

Thick-bar or fat-grip training for grip hypertrophy · Greasing the Groove, Made Practical · Train at 40-60% of maximum — the sub-maximal effort rule + 7 more

Use zone 2 to train fat oxidation as a metabolic skill · Build a zone 2 aerobic base · Pair zone 2 with occasional high-intensity work in an 80/20 polarized structure + 7 more

Counter present fatalism by identifying one controllable lever · Catastrophizing (magnification and jumping to conclusions) · Monitor for cumulative pessimism becoming self-fulfilling + 7 more

Recognize mild dehydration as a hidden performance drag · Stay hydrated and salted during the fast · Replace electrolytes when you sweat a lot + 7 more

Use post-session RPE review to detect overreaching early · Build rhythmic oscillation between stress and recovery · Use RPE as a communication language with coaches and training partners + 7 more

Eat fatty fish two to three times per week · Prioritize EPA over DHA when choosing a supplement · Include omega-3-rich foods + 7 more

Reality-test a neuroception alarm · Neuroception: How Your Nervous System Reads Safety Before Your Mind Does · Map your personal safety and threat cues + 7 more

Keep asks sized to what the person can easily afford to give · Liking · The Ben Franklin Effect, Made Practical + 7 more

Know when not to use a loss frame · Find the actual incidence rate before acting on fear · Use credible verbal persuasion to raise efficacy in the short term + 7 more

Imaginal exposure for difficult-to-access fears · In-vivo graded exposure: confront the real situation step by step · Vary exposure contexts to prevent return of fear + 7 more

Build a fear hierarchy · Build an anxiety hierarchy · Build an exposure hierarchy + 7 more

The Fear Ladder: Graded Exposure Made Practical · Build an exposure hierarchy · Set realistic expectations before each exposure + 7 more

The Fear Ladder: Graded Exposure Made Practical · Build an anxiety hierarchy · Build an exposure hierarchy + 7 more