Coaching practices for Relationship Agreements Couples

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Relationship Agreements Couples, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • In the heat of a fight we cross lines we’d never cross when calm
  • We pass each other like roommates these days, connection only happening if it randomly happens, and there’s no reliable little moment that’s just ours
  • My partner sided with their family over me again, or didn’t back me up in front of others, and I’m left unsure whether they’ll actually put us first when it counts
  • Real conversation with my partner only happens by accident now, and when life gets busy it’s the first thing to vanish
  • My partner and I have become roommates who just handle logistics

Practices that may help

  1. Agree on relationship principles before you need them
    Set explicit rules for how you will treat each other, especially under pressure.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships
  2. Build rituals of connection and shared meaning
    Create repeatable rituals that signal the relationship is a priority.
    The 5-to-1 Positivity Ratio in Relationships
  3. Create and protect the couple bubble
    Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships
  4. Build shared rituals that update your map
    Create recurring moments designed to share inner worlds, not just coordinate schedules.
    Love Maps: Knowing Your Partner's Inner World
  5. Make bids for shared enjoyment, not just support
    Invite your partner to enjoy something together — playfulness and delight are also bids.
    Turning Toward: The Daily Practice That Builds Relationship Resilience
  6. Create and protect rituals of connection
    Build small, consistent ceremonies that mark transitions and signal "we matter."
    The Shared Meaning System
  7. Practice openness through regular self-disclosure
    Share your thoughts, feelings, and daily experiences — not just problems.
    Relationship Maintenance Behaviors
  8. Cultivating complicity: shared secret aliveness
    Build a private world of in-jokes, gestures, and references that only you two share.
    Mating in Captivity: Sustaining Desire in Long-Term Relationships
  9. Pro-relationship maintenance behaviors
    Actively do things that maintain and strengthen the relationship, rather than expecting it to run itself.
    The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave)
  10. Regularly share novel and enjoyable activities
    Do new things together — not only comfortable or habitual ones.
    Relationship Maintenance Behaviors

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