Coaching practices for Relationship During Negotiation

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Relationship During Negotiation, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every time I push back on the terms it somehow turns into them feeling attacked, and then we’re fighting about us instead of the actual issue
• The second they push back I either cave completely or harden into all-or-nothing, because I walked in without ever deciding what I could actually live with
• We’re both dug into our numbers and it feels totally deadlocked, but I have a hunch we’re not actually that far apart underneath
• We’re both playing it so close to the chest that neither of us can find a better deal, but I’m scared that if I open up about what I actually want they’ll just use it against me
• There are several things on the table here, and some matter way more to me than others

Practices that may help

1. Separate the people from the problem
   Address relationship concerns and substantive issues in different registers — treating people well and the problem hard.
   Principled Negotiation, Made Practical
2. Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take
   Decide in advance what you are willing to accept short of your full ask, and be ready to offer something in exchange.
   DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
3. Focus on interests, not positions
   Ask why a position is taken — the underlying interest is almost always more negotiable than the stated demand.
   Principled Negotiation, Made Practical
4. Share information to unlock value
   Reveal interests (not your bottom line) so both sides can find the better deal.
   Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie
5. Logroll by trading issues of unequal importance
   Concede on what matters less to you in exchange for gains on what matters more.
   Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference
6. Separate the people from the problem
   Be hard on the problem, soft on the people — attack the issue, not each other.
   Getting to Yes: Principled Negotiation
7. Trade across issues where each side has different priorities
   Give the counterpart what they care most about; get what you care most about — logrolling is only possible when interests differ.
   Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation
8. Run a negotiation debrief to learn what value was left on the table
   After closing, compare priorities with the other side to see the trades you both missed.
   Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference
9. Use a post-settlement settlement to improve a deal after agreement
   Once you have a deal, offer to keep exploring whether a better one exists for both sides.
   Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference
10. Identify compatible interests for joint gain
    When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
    Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation

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