Coaching practices for Relationship Role Negotiation

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Relationship Role Negotiation, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The second they push back I either cave completely or harden into all-or-nothing, because I walked in without ever deciding what I could actually live with
  • Every time I push back on the terms it somehow turns into them feeling attacked, and then we’re fighting about us instead of the actual issue
  • There are several things on the table here, and some matter way more to me than others
  • We’re haggling issue by issue, splitting the difference on each one, and it’s leaving us both worse off
  • We’re both playing it so close to the chest that neither of us can find a better deal, but I’m scared that if I open up about what I actually want they’ll just use it against me

Practices that may help

  1. Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take
    Decide in advance what you are willing to accept short of your full ask, and be ready to offer something in exchange.
    DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
  2. Separate the people from the problem
    Address relationship concerns and substantive issues in different registers — treating people well and the problem hard.
    Principled Negotiation, Made Practical
  3. Logroll by trading issues of unequal importance
    Concede on what matters less to you in exchange for gains on what matters more.
    Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference
  4. Trade across issues where each side has different priorities
    Give the counterpart what they care most about; get what you care most about — logrolling is only possible when interests differ.
    Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation
  5. Share information to unlock value
    Reveal interests (not your bottom line) so both sides can find the better deal.
    Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie
  6. Trade across differing priorities
    Give on what you value less to get what you value more — and have them do the same.
    Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie
  7. Separate the people from the problem
    Be hard on the problem, soft on the people — attack the issue, not each other.
    Getting to Yes: Principled Negotiation
  8. Negotiate roles and responsibilities explicitly
    Make implicit expectations explicit so resentment doesn’t fill the gap.
    The Shared Meaning System
  9. Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
    Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
    The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
  10. Focus on interests, not positions
    Ask why a position is taken — the underlying interest is almost always more negotiable than the stated demand.
    Principled Negotiation, Made Practical

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