Coaching practices for Interpersonal Negotiation
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Interpersonal Negotiation, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- The second they push back I either cave completely or harden into all-or-nothing, because I walked in without ever deciding what I could actually live with
- Every time I push on the actual issue it lands as a personal attack and we both get defensive
- Every time I push back on the terms it somehow turns into them feeling attacked, and then we’re fighting about us instead of the actual issue
- We’re treating this like a fight when actually we both want the same outcome
- Going into this hard talk I’m trying to win the point AND not hurt the relationship AND not feel like a doormat all at once, and the conversation just goes in circles
Practices that may help
- Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take
Decide in advance what you are willing to accept short of your full ask, and be ready to offer something in exchange.
DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively - Separate the people from the problem
Be hard on the problem, soft on the people — attack the issue, not each other.
Getting to Yes: Principled Negotiation - Separate the people from the problem
Address relationship concerns and substantive issues in different registers — treating people well and the problem hard.
Principled Negotiation, Made Practical - Identify compatible interests for joint gain
When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation - Three-goals prioritization: objective, relationship, or self-respect?
Before entering a difficult conversation, decide which of the three goals matters most right now.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship - Logroll by trading issues of unequal importance
Concede on what matters less to you in exchange for gains on what matters more.
Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference - Share information to unlock value
Reveal interests (not your bottom line) so both sides can find the better deal.
Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie - Trade across issues where each side has different priorities
Give the counterpart what they care most about; get what you care most about — logrolling is only possible when interests differ.
Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation - Trade across differing priorities
Give on what you value less to get what you value more — and have them do the same.
Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie - Invent options for mutual gain
Brainstorm multiple possible deals before deciding, expanding the pie before splitting it.
Getting to Yes: Principled Negotiation
Related concerns
- Integrative Negotiation
When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
Identify compatible interests for joint gain
- Relationship During Negotiation
Address relationship concerns and substantive issues in different registers — treating people well and the problem hard.
Separate the people from the problem
- Relationship Role Negotiation
Decide in advance what you are willing to accept short of your full ask, and be ready to offer something in exchange.
Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take
- Add Issues Negotiation
When you’re stuck on a single issue, adding more issues often creates room for trades that satisfy both sides.
Expand the ZOPA by adding issues to the negotiation
- Integrative Bargaining
When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
- Integrative Bargaining Tactics
When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.