Coaching practices for Values Behavior Gap

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Values Behavior Gap, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I keep telling myself I’m basically living in line with what I care about, but if I’m brutally honest about my actual behavior the last couple of weeks, I suspect I’m way further from the center than I let myself admit
  • There’s a low hum of dissatisfaction in my life I can’t pin down
  • I’ve named my top values, but looking back at the actual decisions I made this week, I’m not sure my behavior honored a single one of them
  • I say I value certain things, but when I look honestly at how I actually spent my week, my real priorities were something else entirely
  • I reach for the same go-to fix for every change

Practices that may help

  1. Rate your current position in each domain
    Mark on each domain’s bullseye how closely your recent behavior has matched the value — honestly.
    Values Bullseye, Made Practical
  2. Valued living audit: how much are you actually living your values?
    Rate both how important each value is and how consistently you have been living it — the gap is where to focus.
    Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
  3. The values–behavior gap check
    Audit the last week: which of your top values did your actual decisions honor?
    Values Card Sort
  4. Check action against stated values — the alignment review
    Once a week, compare your stated values to your actual choices and name the gap honestly.
    The Pythagorean Evening Review
  5. Match your intervention type to the COM-B gap
    Use the Behavior Change Wheel to select the intervention approach that fits the diagnosed gap — not your default.
    The COM-B Model and Behavior Change Wheel
  6. Socialise your values and expectations to reduce hidden motivation barriers
    Others’s expectations and transmitted values shape whether you believe you belong in a domain — making implicit messages explicit clears hidden motivation blocks.
    Expectancy-Value Theory: Why You Try (or Don’t)
  7. Use self-compassion to buffer the emotional cost of discrepancies
    Acknowledge the gap and the discomfort it causes without turning it into self-attack — the gap can motivate without punishing.
    Self-Discrepancy Theory, Made Practical
  8. Use social opportunity — others who make the behavior normal
    Position yourself in social contexts where your target behavior is modeled, expected, or easy to perform with others.
    The COM-B Model and Behavior Change Wheel
  9. Develop discrepancy between values and behavior
    Gently hold up the gap between what the person wants and what they’re doing.
    Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
  10. Assess which life conditions are activating which levels
    Map how your current environment is pulling different value systems forward or backward.
    Spiral Dynamics, Made Practical

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