What to Do When Angry and Depressed? 10 Coaching Practices to Try
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For What to Do When Angry and Depressed, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Practices that may help
- Soften when anger says attack
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
Opposite Action: Acting Against the Emotion’s Urge - Engage when sadness says withdraw
When low mood urges isolation and shutdown, deliberately do an activity and connect.
Opposite Action: Acting Against the Emotion’s Urge - Prepare coping self-talk in advance
Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical - Take a structured time-out
Exit the provocation situation temporarily with a plan to re-engage — not as avoidance, but as arousal regulation.
Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical - O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening
After the stop, observe the situation, your emotions, and your urges — without judgment and without acting on them.
The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments - Identify and interrupt avoidance and withdrawal patterns
Notice when you are avoiding or withdrawing and treat it as the maintenance mechanism, not self-care.
Behavioral Activation: Acting Your Way Out of Low Mood - Connect activities to values, not just pleasure
Select activities that align with what matters to you, not just what feels good right now.
Behavioral Activation: Acting Your Way Out of Low Mood - ACCEPTS — structured distraction from crisis
Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
Distress Tolerance Skills, Made Practical - Intense exercise: discharge the physiological arousal with brief intense movement
Do 20 jumping jacks, sprint for a minute, or any intense exercise to burn through the stress-response chemicals.
TIPP: DBT’s Crisis Skill for Rapidly Lowering Emotional Intensity - Grade activity difficulty upward gradually
Start with the easiest feasible pleasant activity and increase demands only after success.
Pleasant Events Scheduling, Made Practical
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I believe I have to let the anger out
- When I’m low all I want is to cancel everything, lie in the dark, and talk to no one
- When the anger actually hits, my mind goes blank and there’s no calm voice in there
- Once a fight gets going I can feel I’ve passed the point where anything good comes out of my mouth, but I don’t know how to step away without it looking like I’m storming off or quitting on the person.
- When I’m upset I’m completely fused with the story
Related concerns
- How To Deal With Anger Depression
Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
Prepare coping self-talk in advance
- How To Deal With Anger From Depression
Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
- How To Deal With Depression And Anger
Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
- How To Stop Anger And Sadness
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
Soften when anger says attack
- How To Stop Depression Anger
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
- How To Stop Turning Sadness Into Anger
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.