Coaching practices for I Keep Acting Against What I Say I Value and Breaking the Small Promises I Make to Myself and Each Time I Lose a Little Face with the One Person I Can Never Get Away From Me and the Gap Between Who I Claim to Be and How I Actually Behave is Eating at My Self Respect
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Keep Acting Against What I Say I Value and Breaking the Small Promises I Make to Myself and Each Time I Lose a Little Face with the One Person I Can Never Get Away From Me and the Gap Between Who I Claim to Be and How I Actually Behave is Eating at My Self Respect, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I keep acting against what I say I value and breaking the small promises I make to myself, and each time I lose a little face with the one person I can never get away from
- When the pressure builds in a conversation, I cave on something I actually believe in just to make the discomfort stop
- I keep swallowing what I actually want and going along to keep the peace, and every time I stay silent against my own wishes it quietly tells me my needs don’t matter
- I’ve broken so many promises to myself that I don’t even believe me anymore
- I keep waffling and breaking my own little promises to myself, so there’s no track record to point to
Practices that may help
- The practice of personal integrity
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - The practice of self-assertiveness
Honor your wants, needs, and values by expressing them in the world — appropriately and openly.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Build trust with yourself through consistent small commitments
Each kept promise to yourself reduces the self-doubt that drives shame after future delays.
Self-Forgiveness and Procrastination - Use decisive action to build, not just express, self-concept clarity
Make and keep commitments deliberately — each kept commitment is data that builds a clearer self-knowledge over time.
Self-Concept Clarity, Made Practical - Confidence from keeping promises to yourself
Reliably showing up builds self-trust independent of how any session goes.
Strength Training for Confidence - FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship - Name and wrestle with your besetting weakness
Identify the one recurring moral failure and choose a practice that confronts it daily.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Rate your current position in each domain
Mark on each domain’s bullseye how closely your recent behavior has matched the value — honestly.
Values Bullseye, Made Practical - Respond to identity threats without self-concept collapse
When you act against your identity, treat it as a behavior question, not a character verdict.
Identity Priming, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Behavioral Integrity Leadership
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
The practice of personal integrity
- Goal Relationship Self Respect
After any difficult interaction, ask: "Do I respect myself for how I showed up?" — not just "did I win?"
Use self-respect as the outcome measure — not just whether you got what you wanted
- How To Maintain Self Respect
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
- Keeping Promises To Yourself
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
- Objective Relationship Self Respect
After any difficult interaction, ask: "Do I respect myself for how I showed up?" — not just "did I win?"
- Personal Integrity
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
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