Coaching practices for Goal Relationship Self Respect
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Goal Relationship Self Respect, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I "won" the argument — I got exactly what I was after — but I walked away with a sour feeling, because I got it by needling them and bending the truth, and I’m realizing whether I got my way isn’t actually the question I should be asking; it’s whether I can respect how I behaved to get it.
- I bend over backwards to be fair to everyone else and then quietly leave myself out of the equation entirely
- I walk away from conflicts having caved again
- When the pressure builds in a conversation, I cave on something I actually believe in just to make the discomfort stop
- Going into this hard conversation I want it all at once
Practices that may help
- Use self-respect as the outcome measure — not just whether you got what you wanted
After any difficult interaction, ask: "Do I respect myself for how I showed up?" — not just "did I win?"
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction. - Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship - Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - Balance FAST with DEAR MAN when the relationship and the goal are both at stake
Use DEAR MAN for what you want, GIVE for the relationship, and FAST for yourself — and know which to weight when they conflict.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - The practice of personal integrity
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Express fondness and admiration specifically
Name what you genuinely respect and appreciate about your partner — out loud and specifically.
The 5-to-1 Positivity Ratio in Relationships - The practice of self-assertiveness
Honor your wants, needs, and values by expressing them in the world — appropriately and openly.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Moving from other-validation to self-validation
Gradually replace the need for your partner’s approval with the ability to hold your own self-regard.
Differentiation of Self: David Schnarch’s Framework for Passionate Marriage
Related concerns
- Objective Relationship Self Respect
After any difficult interaction, ask: "Do I respect myself for how I showed up?" — not just "did I win?"
Use self-respect as the outcome measure — not just whether you got what you wanted
- Self Respect In Relationships
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- Self Respect Communication
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- Dignity Therapy
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- How To Maintain Self Respect
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
The practice of personal integrity
- Self Respect Through Values
Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.