Coaching practices for Personal Integrity

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Personal Integrity, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I keep acting against what I say I value and breaking the small promises I make to myself, and each time I lose a little face with the one person I can never get away from
  • My private intentions are too easy to quietly let slide because no one would ever know
  • When the pressure builds in a conversation, I cave on something I actually believe in just to make the discomfort stop
  • I walk away from conflicts having caved again
  • I work on my character all in my own head, by my own standards, and it stays abstract and unproven

Practices that may help

  1. The practice of personal integrity
    Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  2. Make a small public commitment that locks in the identity
    A simple public or written commitment to an identity generates internal pressure to act consistently with it.
    Identity Priming, Made Practical
  3. Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
    Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
    FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
  4. FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
    Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
    DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
  5. Embed your virtues in a practice community
    The virtues needed for excellence in any serious practice (craft, sport, relationship) are real virtues — find the practice that calls them out.
    Virtue Ethics, Made Practical
  6. Audit and reduce your self-orientation
    Self-orientation is the denominator: a small increase in it wipes out gains in all three numerator variables.
    The Trust Equation, Made Practical
  7. Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
    Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
    The Trust Equation, Made Practical
  8. The practice of self-assertiveness
    Honor your wants, needs, and values by expressing them in the world — appropriately and openly.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  9. Use self-respect as the outcome measure — not just whether you got what you wanted
    After any difficult interaction, ask: "Do I respect myself for how I showed up?" — not just "did I win?"
    FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
  10. Connect individual strengths to the broader virtues they serve
    Understand which of the six VIA virtues your signature strengths express, and what that reveals about your character.
    VIA Character Strengths, Made Practical

Related concerns

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