Coaching practices for I've Got a Short List of Values but They're All Just Sitting There as Equals and the Second Two of Them Collide in Real Life Freedom Against Security Ambition Against Family I Have No Idea Which One I'd Actually Choose So I Just Agonize
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I've Got a Short List of Values but They're All Just Sitting There as Equals and the Second Two of Them Collide in Real Life Freedom Against Security Ambition Against Family I Have No Idea Which One I'd Actually Choose So I Just Agonize, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I’ve got a short list of values but they’re all just sitting there as equals, and the second two of them collide in real life
- If you ask me what I value I’ll say family, health, honesty, growth
- I’m torn between two things I care about
- I’m frozen on a decision where honoring one thing I care about means shortchanging another
- I’ve named my top values, but looking back at the actual decisions I made this week, I’m not sure my behavior honored a single one of them
Practices that may help
- Rank your top values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
Values Clarification, Made Practical - The forced-rank sort
Write your top 20 candidate values on cards, then sort them ruthlessly until you have a ranked top five.
Values Card Sort - Use the bullseye to resolve competing values
When two values pull in different directions, the bullseye shows you which domain is most neglected and most in need of attention.
Values Bullseye, Made Practical - Resolving a decision with two competing values
When two values both apply, use your ranked priority to resolve the tension rather than freeze.
Values Card Sort - The values–behavior gap check
Audit the last week: which of your top values did your actual decisions honor?
Values Card Sort - Run a values card sort
Sort a deck of value words into keep/maybe/discard to surface what actually matters.
Values Clarification, Made Practical - Values clarification through lived evidence
Infer your actual values from your past behaviour, not from what you wish you valued.
Svadhyaya: Self-Study as a Daily Practice - Clarify values and choose them actively
Name what genuinely matters to you — not what should matter — and make it a live choice today.
Psychological Flexibility, Made Practical - Use the someday list as a values barometer
What you keep adding to the someday list — and what you keep not doing — reveals what you actually value versus what you think you value.
The Someday List - Values clarification: what matters most to you?
Identify 3–5 core values — not what you should value, but what actually matters when life is stripped back.
Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
Related concerns
- Choose From Your Values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
Rank your top values
- Choose Your Values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
- Decide By Your Values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
- How To Choose Your Values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
- When Values Based Action Values Clarification Exercise
Identify 3–5 core values — not what you should value, but what actually matters when life is stripped back.
Values clarification: what matters most to you?
- When Values Card Sort Forced Rank Sort
Write your top 20 candidate values on cards, then sort them ruthlessly until you have a ranked top five.
The forced-rank sort
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