Coaching practices for Who Are You Questions

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Who Are You Questions, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’ve got the conversation booked but I’m staring at a blank page of questions, worried I’ll waste their time asking things I could’ve Googled
  • When I try to ask "who am I" it just turns into more abstract thinking and goes nowhere
  • I can recount exactly what happened
  • Someone asks "so what are you looking for?" and I ramble out something vague and apologetic
  • I want to invite someone to try a new approach, and I sense it would land far better if they first connected it to how they already see themselves

Practices that may help

  1. Prepare questions you genuinely don’t know the answer to
    Ask about the unwritten realities of the role — the things no job posting reveals.
    Informational Interviews: Career Research That Builds Your Network
  2. Locate the feeling of I-ness directly
    Before pursuing "Who am I?" conceptually, first find the raw felt sense of I-ness in the body.
    Self-Inquiry: Ramana Maharshi’s Path of Direct Investigation
  3. Landscape of Identity and Action Questions
    Use two question types to map both what the person DID (action) and what that reveals about who they ARE (identity).
    Narrative Therapy: Rewriting the Stories That Define You
  4. Practise your story before you need it
    Have a clear, genuine two-minute narrative about who you are and where you’re headed.
    Informational Interviews: Career Research That Builds Your Network
  5. Prime identity before the ask — "what kind of person are you?"
    Invite the person to describe who they are in terms that align with the behavior you’re requesting.
    Pre-Suasion, Made Practical
  6. Reframe passive questions as active questions
    Ask "did I do my best to...?" rather than "how was my...?" — the word "try" changes what the question measures.
    The Morning Questions
  7. The Morning Questions
    Marshall Goldsmith’s morning questions are a daily active question routine in which you score yourself each morning on whether you "did your best" to pursue specific values-based commitments the previous day. The practice reframes self-monitoring from passive measurement ("how did X go?") to active responsibility ("did I try?"), which research on active questions suggests produces greater engagement and honest self-assessment. The evidence base is practitioner-clinical; large-scale trials are limited.
  8. Open with "What’s on your mind?"
    The best opening question is also the most open — it invites exactly what the person most needs to talk about.
    The Coaching Habit: Seven Questions to Be More Coach-Like
  9. Design a personal question list that matches your current growth goals
    Build a short list of active questions that track the behaviors most relevant to your life right now — not a fixed template.
    The Morning Questions
  10. Ask "And what else?"
    The first answer is rarely the most important one — "And what else?" pulls out the one that actually matters.
    The Coaching Habit: Seven Questions to Be More Coach-Like

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