Coaching practices for Why Do I Feel Emotions So Intensely Adhd

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The instant I notice a feeling I’m already attacking myself for it
  • When a feeling takes over I’m just lost inside it, like it’s the whole room
  • I feel the jealousy or the hurt and then immediately pile on a second layer of "I shouldn’t feel this, a mature person wouldn’t"
  • A feeling slams into me and I have no idea where it came from or why it’s this big
  • Something just set me off and I can feel it surging right now

Practices that may help

  1. Get curious about the feeling, not critical
    Ask "what is this emotion and what is it about?" instead of "why do I feel this way again?"
    Emotional Granularity: Precision as a Regulation Skill
  2. Name what the emotion is doing in your body
    Track the physical signs of the emotion as they move through — this alone reduces their intensity.
    The 90-Second Rule, Made Practical
  3. Give yourself permission to feel
    Drop the judgment about whether you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way — the emotion is already there.
    Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
  4. Understand the function of the emotion
    Every emotion evolved because it does something useful — learn what yours is trying to do.
    DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
  5. Observe the emotion without feeding it
    When a strong emotion hits, watch it without adding the story that keeps it going.
    The 90-Second Rule, Made Practical
  6. Emotional reasoning
    Treat a feeling as direct evidence about external reality: "I feel like a fraud, so I must be one."
    Cognitive Distortions: The Thinking Errors Behind Anxiety and Depression
  7. Self-awareness
    Notice your emotions as they arise and recognize how they shape your judgment and behavior.
    Emotional Intelligence, Made Practical
  8. Name the emotions the situation will likely produce
    Predict which feelings will show up and at what intensity — so they are not surprises when they arrive.
    Cope Ahead: DBT’s Method for Preparing for Difficult Situations
  9. O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening
    After the stop, observe the situation, your emotions, and your urges — without judgment and without acting on them.
    The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments
  10. Track your emotions over time
    Log feelings briefly across days to see the patterns and triggers you would otherwise miss.
    Emotional Granularity: Precision as a Regulation Skill

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