Immunity to Change: Competing-Commitments Mapping

What it is

A session asks you to name a change you want and have not been able to make consistently. Then it asks what you do instead, or what you avoid, at the moment the change would matter. The gap between the two is the starting point. Each commitment on the other side of that gap is looked at as something you are doing on purpose, with a reason behind it.

The approach treats a competing commitment as a way of keeping something important safe, not as a simple failure of willpower. The work is to find out what that something is, and which belief keeps the commitment in place, before trying to remove the behaviour.

Where it comes from

Kegan and Lahey's 2009 book sets out the approach (see Sources). The method is taught commercially under a trademarked name held by its owners; this page documents the method and is not affiliated with them.

The principles underneath

A stated goal sits beside a second commitment

Most goals that stall have a second commitment working against them. Naming both, side by side, is the first step.

The competing commitment has a purpose

The commitment is treated as protecting something you care about. Finding that purpose is the work, rather than overcoming the behaviour.

Test the belief underneath

The approach asks which belief keeps the commitment in place, and whether that belief can be checked in a small, specific way.

How a session runs

1. Choose one goal you have stated, or wanted to, and have not been able to act on consistently.
2. Describe, in specific behaviour, what you do instead, or what you avoid, when the moment comes.
3. Ask what you worry would happen if you did the goal fully. Let the answer come, however small or odd it sounds.
4. Name the commitment the worry protects, and the belief underneath it. Note which parts of it you can test.
5. Agree one small test of that belief for the coming week, and note what you learn from it.

When it tends to fit

• You have set a goal and keep planning it, but a part of you quietly stops the next step.
• You can name exactly what you want to change, and still find yourself doing the opposite at the moment that matters.
• You want to understand the reason for a stuck pattern before you try to fix it.

Where it stops

The mapping can surface heavy worries, such as fear of failure or of being disliked. If a commitment is tied to shame, trauma or a sense of danger, work on it with a qualified therapist.

Mapping can turn into analysis instead of action. Keep at least one test small enough to do this week.

If a stuck pattern is putting your safety, money or relationships at serious risk, a coaching conversation is not the right first step. See a qualified professional.