Stoic-informed coaching

What it is

A Stoic-informed conversation starts with a situation that is causing distress, or a decision that feels stuck. It separates the parts that depend on you, your judgements, choices and effort, from the parts that largely do not, such as other people and past events. Attention then goes to the judgements, and to what a steady, reasoned response would look like.

The approach is a modern use of ancient ideas, not a reconstruction of the Stoic schools. It draws on Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, and on the links that Robertson draws between their ideas and cognitive-behavioural therapy (Robertson, 2019).

Where it comes from

Stoicism was a school of philosophy in ancient Greece and Rome, and Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius are two of its best-known teachers. Sorabji (2002) describes Stoic practice as a form of cognitive therapy, in which a person challenges a judgement that a situation is bad.

The link to modern therapy runs through Albert Ellis's rational therapy. Robertson's book has a chapter on Stoicism and Ellis's rational therapy (Robertson, 2019), and rational-emotive therapy is one of the therapies tested in the outcome research cited below.

The principles underneath

Separate what is up to you

Judgement, choice and effort are treated as within reach. Events and other people's responses largely are not.

Judgements add to events

Much distress is treated as coming from the view taken of an event, not from the event alone.

Examine the judgement

A judgement is tested for whether it is true and whether it helps, and a more reasoned view is considered.

Prepare for difficulty

Imagining a hard situation in advance, and what you would do in it, is treated as preparation rather than worry.

How a session runs

1. Describe the situation causing the most distress, and what you are telling yourself about it.
2. Sort the situation into the parts that depend on you and the parts that do not.
3. Look at the judgement underneath the distress: is it true, and is it helping you?
4. Rehearse a hard version of the situation you are dreading, and choose how you would respond to it.
5. Pick one action that is yours to take this week, and review it at the next session.

When it tends to fit

• You keep replaying a situation you cannot change, and the replay is wearing you down.
• You are bracing for something that has not happened yet, and the bracing is costing you sleep or attention.
• You know what you value and want to act on it when pressure arrives.

Where it stops

Stoic-informed coaching is not a treatment for depression, anxiety disorders or trauma. Distress that is persistent or disabling is better taken to a qualified clinician.

Stoic ideas can be misread as an instruction to suppress feeling, including grief and anger at injustice. A coach using this approach should let those feelings be heard before any reasoning starts.