Maintain an unsolved problems list

Write down recurring triggers so they become solvable problems rather than repeated emergencies.

Why it works

Explosions cluster around specific, predictable situations — the same transition, the same homework demand, the same sibling conflict. Without documentation, each explosion feels new and is handled reactively. A written list converts recurring triggers into named, workable problems that can be addressed proactively — shifting the adult from firefighter to problem-solver.

How to do it

1. After any explosion, write the trigger situation (not the behavior) in a list: "Asked to turn off screen before finishing level."
2. Review the list weekly to spot patterns — time of day, type of demand, particular settings.
3. Prioritize two or three for proactive Plan B rather than trying to solve everything at once.
4. Remove items from the list when the collaborative solution has held for two to three weeks.

Evidence

Systematic problem identification is a foundational step in behavioral and cognitive-behavioral parent-training programs; it converts reactive crisis management into structured intervention. (clinical)

The specific practice of maintaining a written unsolved-problems list is a Greene framework recommendation; the broader principle of systematic functional behavioral assessment has strong clinical support.

Common mistake

Treating each explosion as a unique, unpredictable event rather than noticing the predictable trigger situations — which leaves the unsolved problem intact.