Write a hard conversation out before you have it
Before a hard talk at work, write out the truth you need to say and what follows from it; Braks names three parts of this method without defining them, so these steps are this page’s reading.
Why it works
Braks says her coaching sessions helped coachees script a conversation she names Truth-Implications-Point (TIP), to hold at work when a situation was difficult. She reports that this driver was the most common across her case studies, and that the coachees had been intimidated, threatened and/or distressed by corporate politics or others’ abusive behaviour during the program. She describes the capacity to speak truthfully “while holding the other person’s self-esteem and feelings in mind” as relatively rare. The source names the three parts but does not define them, so the steps below are this page’s reading of the three words.
How to do it
- Choose one conversation you have been putting off. In two or three plain sentences, write the truth of it as you see it.
- Under that, write the implications: what follows for you, for the other person, and for the work if nothing changes.
- As this page’s suggestion, write one sentence about what you hope the other person will take from it.
- Read the three parts back and remove anything that is not true or not needed. Then have the conversation.
Evidence
Braks (2020) reports this driver as one of eight, identified by thematic analysis of more than 100 hours of coaching conversations, and says it was the most common driver across the cases. She reports that these conversations left a lasting impression on many coachees. That is her own report, and no outcome is measured for this driver alone. (anecdotal)
Uncontrolled and author-run, with 12 participants. The source names the three parts of the method but does not define them, so the steps are this page’s reading.
Sources
Common mistake
Writing it so that the other person’s feelings are not part of the script. Braks describes holding the other person’s self-esteem and feelings in mind as part of the aim.
Practice this with IX Coach
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