Laugh at how seriously you take your own growth

Practice light-heartedness about the effort to get yourself right, as a way of loosening the grip of the self you are building.

Why it works

Cook-Greuter links the Construct-Aware stage to the archetype of the wise fool: seeing through the ego’s effort to feel safe, important and in control, and being able to laugh at it with compassion. She calls taking ourselves too seriously a poison and light-heartedness its antidote. Laughter at your own earnest striving briefly puts the striving self in front of you, as an object, instead of being it.

How to do it

1. Pick a growth project you are very serious about.
2. Try the exercise Cook-Greuter reports from her workshop: complain about it out loud, as much as you can, until you hear how much you want it all to be perfect.
3. Describe your effort to "get it right" as a kind observer would describe a friend trying very hard.
4. Notice what eases when you can smile at it, and keep doing the project.

Evidence

Cook-Greuter (2018), an essay based on a conference keynote, proposes a relationship between the Construct-Aware stage and the fool archetype, describes the ability to laugh whole-heartedly and with compassion at the human condition as an indicator of ego maturity, and reports a "sacred laughter" exercise from her workshop. These are her observations from a long research career, offered as an essay rather than a study. (anecdotal)

This is one scholar’s practitioner essay. Humor at your own expense can also be a way to avoid looking; if the laughter stops you from engaging, it is not doing this job.

Sources

• Cook-Greuter, S. (2018). The Construct-Aware Stage of Ego Development and its Relationship to the Fool Archetype. Integral Review, 14(1), 300–310.

Common mistake

Laughing at other people’s earnestness instead of your own. The wise-fool move is aimed first at yourself.

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