Feel it, acknowledge it, then let it go

Let a painful feeling fully arrive and be acknowledged before practising letting go of it.

Why it works

Welwood draws a distinction inside meditation itself. One approach tries to eliminate difficult tendencies and replace them with virtuous ones, which he compares to pulling up a poisonous plant; he writes that this "could lead to spiritual bypassing, trying to deny negative feelings and emotions in the name of heavenly highs." The other, in mindfulness practice, notes painful thoughts and emotions as they arise, bows to them, acknowledges them, and then lets them go and comes back to the breath.

How to do it

1. When a painful feeling comes up during practice or daily life, stop trying to calm it for a moment.
2. Name it plainly to yourself (hurt, grief, fear, resentment) and notice where it is and how strong it is.
3. Acknowledge it as yours and as real, as if bowing to it, without arguing for or against it.
4. Only after it has been fully acknowledged, let your attention widen or return to the breath, and notice what is different from when you skipped this step.

Evidence

This sequence comes from Welwood's 1984 article, where he contrasts eliminating difficult tendencies (which he says "could lead to spiritual bypassing") with noting, acknowledging and then letting them go. In the Tricycle interview (Spring 2011) he describes a process he calls "unconditional presence", which involves "contacting, allowing, opening to, and even surrendering to whatever we're experiencing". It is a practitioner's account from his clinical and meditative experience, not a tested method. (anecdotal)

No study has tested this sequence as a way of reducing spiritual bypass. If a feeling becomes overwhelming, you lose track of where you are, or images keep returning that will not settle, stop and continue with a trained therapist rather than alone.

Sources

• Welwood, J. (1984). Principles of inner work: Psychological and spiritual. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 16(1), 63-73.
• Fossella, T. (2011). Human nature, Buddha nature: An interview with John Welwood. Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, Spring 2011.

Common mistake

Swapping one avoidance for another by getting lost in the feeling. Welwood warns of becoming an "emotional junky" who gets "hooked" on processing personal "stuff"; the step is to acknowledge the feeling fully, then let it move, not to live in it.

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