Define what success looks like together, before proposing solutions

Agree on the criteria a good solution must meet before either side proposes anything.

Why it works

Proposals invite immediate evaluation and counter-proposal — the ratchet of positional bargaining. Criteria shift the conversation one level up, to interests and values, where agreement is far easier. A shared success definition then acts as an objective standard against which any proposed solution can be judged, depersonalising the evaluation.

How to do it

1. Ask: "What does a winning solution look like to you? What must it accomplish?"
2. List all stated criteria visibly (whiteboard, shared doc) so neither side feels unheard.
3. Look for overlap and apparent conflicts in the criteria — both are information.
4. Agree on the combined list before generating any solutions.

Evidence

Separating interests from positions is the most replicated finding in negotiation research. Groups that clarify joint success criteria before proposing reach more integrative agreements. (observational)

Most of this research is in laboratory or organizational settings; real political and interpersonal conflicts introduce power dynamics that complicate the method.

Sources

• Pruitt & Carnevale (1993), Negotiation in Social Conflict — review of integrative bargaining research

Common mistake

Framing your own success criteria as the criteria, then asking the other side to add theirs — this reinstates the positional dynamic inside a criteria-setting frame.