Model synergy: ask "what would a solution have to look like to address both?"
Use the agreed criteria as a design brief and generate solutions that meet all of them.
Why it works
Treating agreed criteria as a design constraint shifts the cognitive task from judgment (is this proposal good enough?) to generation (what could satisfy this constraint?). Design and creativity research shows that well-formed constraints actually increase solution quality by bounding the search space productively rather than eliminating options.
How to do it
- State the full joint criteria list as a design challenge: "We need a solution that achieves [A], [B], and [C]."
- Brainstorm without evaluation — defer judgment until a list of candidates exists.
- Explicitly look for options that make the apparent trade-off disappear, not just split the difference.
- Test each candidate against all criteria before selecting.
Evidence
Constraints-as-catalysts is supported in design and creativity research: well-defined problem constraints improve creative output compared to open-ended generation. The specific synergy framing is Covey’s prescription rather than an independently tested technique. (mechanistic)
Evidence is for constraint-aided creativity generally; the claim that "synergistic" solutions are almost always available is motivational framing, not empirical finding.
Common mistake
Settling for a compromise (each side gives something up) and calling it a third alternative — a true third alternative satisfies all criteria, it does not merely average the positions.
Practice this with IX Coach
7 days free, then $40/month (~$1.30/day).
More practices for The Third Alternative, Made Practical
- Ask "Are you willing to find a solution better than either of us has thought of?"
Open the conversation with a single question that resets both parties from adversaries to co-creators.
- Define what success looks like together, before proposing solutions
Agree on the criteria a good solution must meet before either side proposes anything.
- Practice "Tell me more" — defer rebuttal until genuine understanding
Respond to an opposing view with curiosity before you respond with counter-argument.
- Make the third alternative tangible with a prototype or model
Turn an abstract third-alternative idea into something both parties can react to together.
- Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
- Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
- Negotiate from abundance, not scarcity
Question the assumption that what one side gains the other must lose.