Look through all three windows

When someone's behaviour puzzles or hurts you, imagine it from each of the three corners before settling on one story.

Por que funciona

Karpman describes how some people get locked into perceiving a situation from one corner, a Persecutor, Rescuer or Victim window, as their only view of the world. His Question Mark Triangle offers three possible motives behind any unexplained action: the other person may have felt like a Victim, may have thought they were Rescuing you, or may have been acting as a Persecutor. Holding all three, rather than the one you assumed, keeps you from being stuck on a single answer.

Como fazer

1. Pick something someone did that hurt or puzzled you and that you cannot simply ask them about.
2. Write the explanation you have been assuming, and note which corner it puts them in.
3. Write one plausible version from each of the other two corners: what if they felt like a Victim here, or thought they were protecting you?
4. Hold the three versions side by side without choosing, and notice what changes in how you feel.

Evidência

The perception "windows" and the Question Mark Triangle are set out in Karpman's 2007 lecture worksheet and again in his 2019 article, each with the example of someone who leaves without giving a reason. They are practitioner tools; no study has tested them. (anecdotal)

Considering other motives is not the same as excusing harm. If someone's behaviour frightens you, the priority is your safety, not understanding their reasons.

Fontes

• Karpman, S. B. (2007). The New Drama Triangles. USATAA/ITAA conference lecture, August 11, 2007 (worksheet published on the author's site).
• Karpman, S. B. (2019). Script drama analysis II. International Journal of Transactional Analysis Research & Practice, 10(1), 21-39.

Erro comum

Picking the kindest version and calling the matter settled. The point is to hold three possibilities at once; jumping to the generous one is just a different single window.