Actual Self-Example: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Actual Self-Example, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
About 2 minutes
Try it here: name actions that show who you are
Name up to three things you actually did, not what you intended to do. What you do is the evidence.
Name up to three things you actually did this week.
Practices that may help
- Build a behavioral bridge to the possible self
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Find living examples of your hoped-for self
Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Define yourself by actions, not intentions
You are not your intentions or your self-image — you are the accumulation of what you actually do.
Existentialism and Radical Choice - Build self-familiarity with new identities through low-stakes repetition
Repeatedly acting in a new way — even in small doses — makes the new behavior feel like you.
The Mere Exposure Effect, Made Practical - Build self-knowledge from behavioral evidence
Ground your self-beliefs in specific past behaviors, not feelings or others’ opinions.
Self-Concept Clarity, Made Practical - Track self-stability over time
Notice when your sense of who you are shifts dramatically with context, mood, or others’ opinions — this instability is itself informative.
Self-Concept Clarity, Made Practical - Notice the noticer
Find the part of you that is observing the thought — and recognize it is not the thought.
Self-as-Context (Observing Self), Made Practical - Borrow an identity temporarily by asking "what would [person] do?"
Temporarily adopting a role model’s identity in a specific context lowers the friction of acting as they would.
Identity Priming, Made Practical - Update and revise possible selves over time
Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Self-as-Context (Observing Self), Made Practical
Self-as-context is an ACT concept, developed by Steven Hayes, that distinguishes the stable "you that notices" from the thoughts, feelings, and stories that pass through your mind. Practicing it reduces the threat of painful self-stories by shifting identity from what you think and feel to the perspective that observes them. Support is theoretically strong within ACT; direct experimental isolation of this process is more limited than for defusion or acceptance.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I’ve got this clear, vivid picture of the person I want to become, and I love daydreaming about them
- The future I want for myself feels so out of reach that part of me has filed it under "people like me don’t get there"
- I tell myself I’m a generous, present, hardworking person, but when I actually look at how I spent this week, my behavior tells a different story
- Whenever I try to act like the person I want to be
- How I think about myself swings entirely on the day
Related concerns
- Actual Self Meaning
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
Build a behavioral bridge to the possible self
- Actual Self Definition Psychology
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
- Actual Self Psychology
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
- Self Concept Through Action
Self-as-context is an ACT concept, developed by Steven Hayes, that distinguishes the stable "you that notices" from the thoughts, feelings, and stories that pass through your mind. Practicing it reduces the threat of painful self-stories by shifting identity from what you think and feel to the perspective that observes them. Support is theoretically strong within ACT; direct experimental isolation of this process is more limited than for defusion or acceptance.
- Actual Self Psychology Definition
Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
- Actual Self Vs Self Image
Notice when your sense of who you are shifts dramatically with context, mood, or others’ opinions — this instability is itself informative.
Track self-stability over time
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.