Coaching practices for Assumption Challenging Feedback

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Assumption Challenging Feedback, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• All the feedback I get is about whether I hit the target, and none of it touches the assumptions underneath how I’m even seeing the situation
• The second someone suggests something, I’m already arguing back in my head
• When I just hand someone my assessment they go passive and defensive, like I’m doing something to them
• I blurt out corrections in the heat of the moment, often right in front of other people, and instead of taking it in they just get humiliated and dig in
• The moment I open a review or critical note, my guard slams up and I start mentally arguing back before I’ve even read it

Practices that may help

1. Seek developmental feedback, not just performance feedback
   Ask for feedback that challenges your assumptions about how you see, not just how you perform.
   Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory, Made Practical
2. Receive every suggestion with only "thank you"
   Accept all feedforward without debate, justification, or even agreement — just acknowledge and note.
   Feedforward: Future-Focused Feedback That Actually Changes Behavior
3. Ask what the person already knows before offering your assessment
   Ask the person to evaluate their own performance before giving yours.
   The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead
4. Choose the right moment and setting for feedback
   Feedback lands in proportion to how safe and ready the receiver feels — timing and privacy matter.
   The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical
5. Affirm before receiving critical feedback
   Do a brief values reflection before reading a critical evaluation so you can take in the information rather than defend against it.
   Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical
6. Receive feedback with minimal defensiveness
   Treat feedback as data about others’ experience — not as a verdict on your character.
   The Johari Window
7. Describe behavior, not character
   Say what the person did — actions, words — not what that says about who they are.
   The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical
8. Establish shared purpose before delivering critique
   Frame critique as help toward a shared goal, not an evaluation from above.
   The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead
9. Add a forward-looking request to SBI
   Pair the impact statement with a specific, doable request for next time.
   The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical
10. Give something genuine before you ask for something hard
    The trust account needs deposits before you make a withdrawal — invest in the relationship before demanding performance.
    Caring Personally: The Foundation of Radical Candor

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