Coaching practices for Check the Facts with My Team

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Check the Facts with My Team, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• My mind keeps stacking up every reason I’m right that this went badly, and I can’t seem to see anything that points the other way
• Okay, I’ve sorted out whether the feeling fits
• I’ve looked at it from every angle and I still can’t tell whether I’m genuinely being wronged here or whether my reaction is way bigger than the situation deserves
• I wave through arguments on my side that I’d tear apart in a heartbeat if the other side made them
• We keep arguing in circles and I’ve realized half of it is that nobody’s separated what we actually know from what we’re each just assuming

Practices that may help

1. Check the Facts, Made Practical
   "Check the facts" is a DBT emotion regulation skill for testing whether an emotion is justified by the actual situation or whether it is firing based on an interpretation — a story the mind has added. The underlying mechanism (examining the evidence for a belief) is the same as cognitive restructuring in CBT, which has strong randomized-trial support for anxiety and depression. DBT packages it specifically as a regulation tool, to be used when the emotion may not fit the facts.
2. Examine the evidence for and against
   Systematically list what supports your interpretation and what doesn’t — like a fair-minded lawyer, not a prosecutor.
   Check the Facts, Made Practical
3. Decide on a regulation strategy based on what the facts actually show
   Use the outcome of checking the facts to choose the right next step — not the same step every time.
   Check the Facts, Made Practical
4. Ask whether the emotion fits the facts
   After checking, decide whether your emotion is warranted by the actual facts — not the interpretation.
   Check the Facts, Made Practical
5. Apply the double-standard check: would I accept this reasoning if it pointed the other way?
   Test whether you are holding your team’s arguments to a lower bar than the other side’s.
   The Scout Mindset
6. White hat: establish the facts before opinion
   Separate what is known from what is inferred — the white hat is for data only, with no interpretation.
   Six Thinking Hats, Made Practical
7. Analyze your log for patterns and surprises
   After logging, find the two or three surprising facts — not the obvious ones.
   The Time Audit
8. Actively seek evidence that would prove you wrong
   Ask what would change your mind — and then look for it.
   The Scout Mindset
9. Map and stress-test your key assumptions
   Before executing, list the assumptions the plan depends on — then ask which ones would kill it if wrong.
   Red Teaming: Stress-Testing Plans Before They Fail
10. Review past beliefs for what evidence did and didn’t move them
    Look back at past beliefs and ask: what would have changed my mind then, and did I let it?
    Falsification Thinking

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