Conflict Wheel: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Conflict Wheel, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
About 2 minutes
Try it here: list areas you'd like to move
List up to three areas of your life you rate lower right now. Picking one to work on first is the core step of the wheel.
Which areas of life do you rate lower right now?
Practices that may help
- Choose one domain to move, not all of them
The worst use of a wheel assessment is trying to improve every domain simultaneously.
The Wheel of Life, Made Practical - Use the wheel as a relationship check-in, not just a solo exercise
Sharing your wheel with a partner, coach, or trusted friend turns a self-assessment into a conversation and a commitment.
The Wheel of Life, Made Practical - The Wheel of Life, Made Practical
The Wheel of Life is a coaching tool that maps satisfaction across multiple life domains (career, health, relationships, finances, and others) as a visual "wheel" to show where life is well-rounded and where it is flat. It is widely used in coaching but lacks independent clinical trial evidence; its value is as a structured self-awareness and conversation-starter tool rather than a therapeutic intervention. - Use the horsemen as an early-warning system, not only a post-mortem
Notice which horseman is present in the first 60 seconds of a conflict and intervene before it escalates.
The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown - The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
The Thomas-Kilmann model maps conflict behavior on two axes — how much you assert your own needs and how much you cooperate with the other’s — yielding five styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. None is "best": each fits certain situations, and skill lies in choosing deliberately rather than defaulting to the one style you always reach for. The model is a widely used framework and instrument, not an outcome-tested intervention. - Identify your default conflict mode
Before you can choose a mode, you have to know which one you use automatically.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Adapt your conflict approach to the other person’s DISC style
Conflict lands differently for each style — match your approach to reduce defensiveness.
DISC Behavioral Styles - Recognize when to shift modes mid-conflict
The mode that’s right at the start of a conversation may not be right ten minutes in.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Using the Enneagram to understand relationship friction
Map the type interaction at the heart of a recurring conflict before trying to solve the conflict.
The Enneagram - Mapping shared and divergent values in a relationship
Do the card sort alongside someone important to you and compare — do not assume your rankings match.
Values Card Sort
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I’ve looked honestly at my life and now I want to fix all of it at once
- I do these life check-ins alone in my head and then quietly let them slide, and I think if I actually said the low scores out loud to someone who’d remember, I couldn’t just keep ignoring them the way I always do.
- I can feel within the first minute of a disagreement exactly where it’s headed, like I already know the shape of the fight
- The second things get tense I snap into the same move every time without choosing it
- I handle every disagreement the same way, and it works with maybe one kind of person and blows up with everyone else
Related concerns
- Conflict Assessment Tools
Before you can choose a mode, you have to know which one you use automatically.
Identify your default conflict mode
- How Do I Know If I Am A High Conflict Person
Conflict lands differently for each style — match your approach to reduce defensiveness.
Adapt your conflict approach to the other person’s DISC style
- The 4 Disciplines Of Execution 4dx During Conflict
The 4 Disciplines of Execution (McChesney, Covey & Huling) is an organizational strategy framework built around four practices: focus on a wildly important goal, act on lead measures, keep a compelling scoreboard, and create a cadence of accountability. Evidence is primarily organizational case studies and observational data; controlled trials on the framework as a whole are limited, but the individual components (implementation intentions, feedback loops, social accountability) have broader research support.
- 4 Conflict Styles
The Thomas-Kilmann model maps conflict behavior on two axes — how much you assert your own needs and how much you cooperate with the other’s — yielding five styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. None is "best": each fits certain situations, and skill lies in choosing deliberately rather than defaulting to the one style you always reach for. The model is a widely used framework and instrument, not an outcome-tested intervention.
- 5 Conflict Handling Styles
The Thomas-Kilmann model maps conflict behavior on two axes — how much you assert your own needs and how much you cooperate with the other’s — yielding five styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. None is "best": each fits certain situations, and skill lies in choosing deliberately rather than defaulting to the one style you always reach for. The model is a widely used framework and instrument, not an outcome-tested intervention.
- 5 Conflict Management Styles
The Thomas-Kilmann model maps conflict behavior on two axes — how much you assert your own needs and how much you cooperate with the other’s — yielding five styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. None is "best": each fits certain situations, and skill lies in choosing deliberately rather than defaulting to the one style you always reach for. The model is a widely used framework and instrument, not an outcome-tested intervention.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.