Coaching practices for Couples Values Exercise
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Couples Values Exercise, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I assumed we wanted the same things, but lately our differences keep surfacing and I can’t tell which ones are real gaps in what we value and which are just us never having checked whether we’re actually aligned.
- I’ve named my top values, but looking back at the actual decisions I made this week, I’m not sure my behavior honored a single one of them
- I pour everything into one part of my life
- If you ask me what I value I’ll say family, health, honesty, growth
- My partner and I keep clashing over things we both supposedly want, and I’ve been assuming we’re aligned underneath
Practices that may help
- Align on core values — where they are shared and where they differ
Map which values you genuinely share and which you each hold separately — without requiring convergence.
The Shared Meaning System - The values–behavior gap check
Audit the last week: which of your top values did your actual decisions honor?
Values Card Sort - Map your values across the four life domains
Write one core value statement for each domain — work, relationships, personal growth, leisure — before touching the bullseye.
Values Bullseye, Made Practical - Values Clarification, Made Practical
Values clarification is the work of naming what matters most to you, sorting the genuine priorities from the inherited ones, and using them to guide real choices. The methods — card sorts, ranking, value-consistent action — draw heavily on values work in acceptance-and-commitment therapy (ACT), which has clinical support; living in line with your values correlates with wellbeing in observational research. - The forced-rank sort
Write your top 20 candidate values on cards, then sort them ruthlessly until you have a ranked top five.
Values Card Sort - Mapping shared and divergent values in a relationship
Do the card sort alongside someone important to you and compare — do not assume your rankings match.
Values Card Sort - Rank your top values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
Values Clarification, Made Practical - Values Card Sort
A values card sort is a structured exercise — originally developed in motivational interviewing — that forces you to rank competing values by choosing between them rather than claiming you hold all of them equally. The comparison process surfaces implicit priorities that self-report alone misses. Evidence for values-clarification as a lever for behavior change is observational to clinical; the specific card-sort format has good face validity but limited direct trial data. - Values clarification through lived evidence
Infer your actual values from your past behaviour, not from what you wish you valued.
Svadhyaya: Self-Study as a Daily Practice - Values Bullseye, Made Practical
The values bullseye, developed by Tobias Lundgren within the ACT framework, is a visual exercise in which you rate how close your current behavior is to the bullseye in four life domains — work, relationships, personal growth, and leisure. It converts abstract values into a concrete gap-analysis, making it easier to choose one committed action that moves you toward the center. The exercise is part of the established ACT toolkit; direct evidence for the instrument is limited but the underlying ACT framework has substantial support.
Related concerns
- Choose Your Values
Force a strict order among your finalists so conflicts resolve in advance.
Rank your top values
- Core Values List
Write your top 20 candidate values on cards, then sort them ruthlessly until you have a ranked top five.
The forced-rank sort
- Core Values Operational
Use core values in hiring, recognition, and decision-making — not just on the website.
Make core values operational, not decorative
- How Do I Figure Out My Values
Values clarification is the work of naming what matters most to you, sorting the genuine priorities from the inherited ones, and using them to guide real choices. The methods — card sorts, ranking, value-consistent action — draw heavily on values work in acceptance-and-commitment therapy (ACT), which has clinical support; living in line with your values correlates with wellbeing in observational research.
- How To Identify Your Values
Values clarification is the work of naming what matters most to you, sorting the genuine priorities from the inherited ones, and using them to guide real choices. The methods — card sorts, ranking, value-consistent action — draw heavily on values work in acceptance-and-commitment therapy (ACT), which has clinical support; living in line with your values correlates with wellbeing in observational research.
- What Is A Good Process For Figuring Out Your Values
Values clarification is the work of naming what matters most to you, sorting the genuine priorities from the inherited ones, and using them to guide real choices. The methods — card sorts, ranking, value-consistent action — draw heavily on values work in acceptance-and-commitment therapy (ACT), which has clinical support; living in line with your values correlates with wellbeing in observational research.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.