Coaching practices for Did My Best Questions

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Did My Best Questions, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When I check in on myself it’s always "how did the day go," and the answer always seems to ride on things outside my hands
  • I’m hitting every productivity target and somehow feeling emptier by the week
  • When I ask myself “how did that go?” my mind just hands me the single best or worst moment and calls it done
  • My conversations just sort of trail off when the time runs out, and people leave with a polite thanks
  • My questions keep getting one-word answers and the conversation just dies, and I’m realizing I’m asking yes/no stuff

Practices that may help

  1. Reframe passive questions as active questions
    Ask "did I do my best to...?" rather than "how was my...?" — the word "try" changes what the question measures.
    The Morning Questions
  2. Include a happiness question — not as an outcome goal but as a signal
    Add "Did I do my best to be happy today?" to the list — not as a target, but as a daily quality-of-life sensor.
    The Morning Questions
  3. The Morning Questions
    Marshall Goldsmith’s morning questions are a daily active question routine in which you score yourself each morning on whether you "did your best" to pursue specific values-based commitments the previous day. The practice reframes self-monitoring from passive measurement ("how did X go?") to active responsibility ("did I try?"), which research on active questions suggests produces greater engagement and honest self-assessment. The evidence base is practitioner-clinical; large-scale trials are limited.
  4. Use structured debrief questions to guide any review
    Replace "how did it go?" with specific questions that move through each stage of the cycle.
    Structured Reflection: Kolb’s Learning Cycle in Practice
  5. Close with "What was most useful for you?"
    The closing question turns the conversation into a learning that sticks — and teaches you what is actually valuable.
    The Coaching Habit: Seven Questions to Be More Coach-Like
  6. Ask open-ended questions
    Replace yes/no questions with ones that invite the speaker to open up.
    Active Listening, Made Practical
  7. Question the question itself
    Before answering a question, ask whether it is the right question and whether it is framed to produce useful answers.
    Socratic Questioning
  8. The four-window inventory (used as a prompt, not a test)
    Answer love, skill, need, and pay separately — as four lenses, not four hurdles.
    Ikigai, Honestly Explained
  9. Prepare questions you genuinely don’t know the answer to
    Ask about the unwritten realities of the role — the things no job posting reveals.
    Informational Interviews: Career Research That Builds Your Network
  10. The three-point daily self-examination
    End each day by asking three questions Zengzi — Confucius’s disciple — prescribed: loyalty, trustworthiness, mastery.
    Confucian Self-Cultivation: The Mencius Approach

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