Grief and Loss Divorce: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Grief and Loss Divorce, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Practices that may help

1. Find a community that recognises your specific loss
   Seek out people who have experienced the same type of loss — online or in person.
   Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
2. Treating grief as a form of gratitude
   When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
   Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things
3. Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
   Disenfranchised grief, named by Kenneth Doka, refers to grief for losses that are not socially acknowledged, publicly mourned, or openly supported — the death of a pet, an ex-partner, a miscarriage, an estranged parent, or any relationship the community does not sanction. Because social support is a major resource for grief, its absence compounds the loss and can complicate the grieving process significantly.
4. Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
   Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
   The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical
5. Practice speaking about the loss to people outside your immediate circle
   Gradually widen the circle of people who know about the loss and can offer recognition.
   Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
6. Reconstruct your identity post-loss
   Actively develop the new self that emerges when a core relationship or role is gone.
   Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
7. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
   Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
   Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
8. Validate your own grief without waiting for external permission
   Give yourself the recognition that society has withheld — your loss is real because it matters to you.
   Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
9. Identify and address secondary stressors
   Name the practical, identity, and relational challenges the loss has created — and work on them as restoration.
   The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical
10. Look honestly for what has grown or changed for the better
    Without minimising the loss, notice any growth, change, or perspective that has emerged from it.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Nobody in my life gets this kind of loss, and I’m starting to ache for even one person who’s been through the exact same thing and wouldn’t need me to explain why it matters.→
• Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go→
• I deal with my grief by doing and fixing rather than weeping, and everyone keeps treating that as cold or in denial→
• I’ve kept this loss a secret because I’m bracing for someone to brush it off, but holding it in is its own weight→
• So much of who I was lived in being their wife, their caregiver, the one they called→

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.