Holding Anger Inside: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Holding Anger Inside, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
About 1 minute
Try it here: rate the anger, then look under it
Rate the anger you're holding inside, then notice what might sit underneath it, like hurt or fear.
How strong is the anger you're holding inside?
Practices that may help
- Soften when anger says attack
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
Opposite Action: Acting Against the Emotion’s Urge - Find the emotion underneath anger
Anger almost always has a softer, more vulnerable emotion below it — hurt, fear, shame, or grief.
Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical - Map your anger triggers
Build a personal inventory of the situations, people, and thoughts that reliably ignite your anger.
Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical - Apply the view to interrupt anger
In the moment of anger, use the zoom-out as a circuit breaker before you speak or act.
The View from Above - Prepare coping self-talk in advance
Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical - Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure)
Practice coping with anger in imagination — from mild triggers to intense ones — before you face them live.
Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical - O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening
After the stop, observe the situation, your emotions, and your urges — without judgment and without acting on them.
The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments - Mindful awareness of suffering
Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
Self-Compassion, Made Practical - RAIN — Allow the experience to be here
Let the feeling exist as it is for a moment, without pushing it away or feeding it.
Radical Acceptance, Made Practical - Relax and release stuck energy
When emotion grips, consciously relax and let the energy move through instead of clamping down.
The Untethered Soul, In Practice
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I believe I have to let the anger out
- I blew up at someone again and the anger came out instant and loud, but if I’m honest it was covering something rawer
- My anger feels like it comes out of nowhere and blindsides me every time, but afterward I half-suspect the same handful of things keep setting me off
- I can feel the heat surging up and the cutting thing already forming in my mouth, and I know if I let it out in the next two seconds I’ll regret it
- When the anger actually hits, my mind goes blank and there’s no calm voice in there
Related concerns
- Holding Anger In
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
Soften when anger says attack
- Hold Back Anger
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
- Holding Back Anger
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
- Holding In Anger
When unjustified anger urges attack, gently avoid, withdraw, or take the other person’s side a little.
- Holding In Anger For Years
Identify a grievance you are still carrying and practice releasing it rather than replaying it.
Memory cleaning (releasing the past)
- How To Control Anger Emotions
Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
Prepare coping self-talk in advance
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.