Coaching practices for How Can I Help My Child Who Was Bitten by Other Children

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Can I Help My Child Who Was Bitten by Other Children, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
• Something scared my child
• I keep trying to reason with my kid right in the middle of the meltdown
• My kid and I agree on a fix and it sounds great in the moment, but a few days later it’s fallen apart again
• Every time I put my foot down and insist, my kid blows up worse

Practices that may help

1. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
2. Name it to tame it: tell the story of the big feeling
   Help the child narrate what happened and how it felt — storytelling is brain integration.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
3. Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
   Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
4. Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
   A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
5. Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
   Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
6. Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate
   Name the child’s emotional state without agreeing with every demand — empathy and limits can coexist.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
7. Use play to re-establish connection after conflict or separation
   Playful physical contact after a difficult moment re-welds the relationship faster than discussion.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
8. Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
   Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
9. Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
   Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
   Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
10. Maintain an unsolved problems list
    Write down recurring triggers so they become solvable problems rather than repeated emergencies.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)

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