Coaching practices for How Can I Teach My Child Not to Be Greedy

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are
  • I tell my kid "good job" all day and it doesn’t seem to change anything
  • There are certain moments
  • Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together

Practices that may help

  1. Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
    Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  2. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Use descriptive praise instead of generic approval
    Tell the child exactly what they did right so they know what to repeat.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  4. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  5. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  6. Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
    Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
    Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
  7. Allow natural consequences to do the teaching
    Step back and let the world respond — your child learns more from being cold than from being lectured about coats.
    Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
  8. Give proportionally to stay in a state of abundance
    Give at a level that feels generous without triggering deprivation — so you can keep giving.
    Prosocial Spending: Why Giving Boosts Happiness
  9. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
    Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  10. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)

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