Coaching practices for How to Live Authentically

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Live Authentically, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’m so used to managing how I come across that I’m not even sure people know the real me
  • I look at the big shape of my life
  • I’m facing a real decision and I realize I’m about to choose what my family or my role or "what one does" expects of me, not what I actually value
  • With the person closest to me I’ve fallen into playing a role, and the most real parts of me stay tucked away
  • I’m living by a whole set of rules about how life should go, and it’s started to dawn on me that I never actually chose most of them

Practices that may help

  1. Cultivate authenticity
    Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
  2. Audit whether you are living your life or someone else’s
    Identify the places where your choices reflect others’ expectations rather than your own values.
    The Regret of the Dying
  3. Choose authentically — from your own values, not from expectation
    Make choices that reflect your actual values rather than the role others have assigned you.
    Existentialism and Radical Choice
  4. Apply strengths consciously in your most important relationships
    Identify how your signature strengths are showing up — or failing to show up — in the relationships that matter most.
    VIA Character Strengths, Made Practical
  5. Conduct a regular examined-life audit
    Periodically ask: which of the beliefs I am living by have I actually examined, and which am I just inheriting?
    The Socratic Method, Made Practical
  6. The practice of personal integrity
    Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  7. The practice of living consciously
    Bring awareness to what you are doing and seeing, rather than acting on autopilot or avoidance.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  8. Values Clarification, Made Practical
    Values clarification is the work of naming what matters most to you, sorting the genuine priorities from the inherited ones, and using them to guide real choices. The methods — card sorts, ranking, value-consistent action — draw heavily on values work in acceptance-and-commitment therapy (ACT), which has clinical support; living in line with your values correlates with wellbeing in observational research.
  9. Stop surface acting
    Recognize when you’re masking emotions at work or in relationships, and find low-cost outlets for what you actually feel.
    Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
  10. Use the eulogy / future-self lens
    Imagine how you’d want to be remembered to reveal the values you’d defend most.
    Values Clarification, Made Practical

Related concerns

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.

Practice this with IX Coach

Try this practice